Headlies: WWE Announces “Ronda Rousey Walking Simulator” Video Game

5 Submitted by on Mon, 18 June 2018, 08:00

Los Angeles, CA – The biggest news to come out of the Electronic Entertainment Expo, also known as E3, was the surprise announcement of the new WWE video game “Ronda Rousey Walking Simulator”.

Fans crowded into Annex Room C to watch stylistic video package narrated in-person by WWE CEO Vince McMahon. Many assumed that this would be the reveal for WWE 2K19.

“Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to be free. How does man achieve that freedom? By walking!” yelled McMahon as pyrotechnics exploded in the tiny room. Kevin Dunn stood behind McMahon holding sparklers as he continued.

“WWE, in a partnership with the makers of QWOP, are proud to present the next generation of sports entertainment games! This marks the first time a WWE-branded game has focused on one Superstar,” claimed McMahon. “Now you will be able to walk in the little booties of the ‘Baddest Woman On The Planet’! Left foot! Right foot! Heel to toe! Stiffly move your arms! Stare angrily into space! Excitement for the entire family!”

The game will be available across all gaming platforms, mobile phones, and PC. It will be free, but fans can purchase in-game loot boxes, clothes, skins, virtual currencies, emojis, and unsold boxes of ICOPRO. A DLC pack to allow Ronda to point at signs will be available for $19.99.

WWE is planning to release more Superstar-centric simulators in the new future. Titles include “Braun Strowman’s ‘Catch The Hands’ Simulator” “Randy Orton Rest Hold Simulator” and “Dolph Ziggler Complains On Twitter” Simulator.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
5 Responses to "Headlies: WWE Announces “Ronda Rousey Walking Simulator” Video Game"
  1. Jim says:

    I understand they were originally planning to make this a CM Punk Walking Out simulator, but instead UFC is producing a CM Punk Getting Knocked Out sim.

  2. MistaMaddog says:

    From the way she walks she should have been called “Cyborg” during her MMA days.

  3. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Vince also took time out to thank the brains behind not only the Ronda Rousey Walking Simulator but the creator of Ronda Rousey. That person was of course Nipple H.

  4. RSing says:

    I believe there’s already a ‘point at the Wrestlemania sign’ game available for free on the ‘Net. You unlock more wrestlers the more accurate and quick you are (except poor old Santino, whom you unlock by failing to point at all).

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