Headlies: Montreal Files Restraining Order Against The WWE

13 Submitted by on Mon, 09 May 2016, 08:00


Montreal, QC, Canada – In an unprecedented move, the city of Montreal has filed a restraining order to World Wrestling Entertainment.

Denis Corderre, the mayor of Montreal, addressed the legal notice at a press conference with reporters this afternoon. Flanked by members of Parliament, Montreal Canadiens great Guy Lafleur, a moose, and a plate of Canadian Bacon, Corerre explained the decision.

“For too long, Vince McMahon and the WWE has used the infamous Montreal Screwjob moment as a crutch for poor storylines and booking. At Payback, the company once again used the Screwjob, this time for the match between Charlotte and Natalya. We, the people of the proud city of Montreal, will no longer stand for it,” said Corderre as the Moose ate some of the bacon. “Therefore, effectively immediately, WWE is no longer allowed to use the city of Montreal or events that have taken place within the city limits in their product. Doing so will cause immediate legal repercussions and we won’t give them any of our Timbits either.”

Corderre then had Lafleur take a slapshot of a “Kliq Rules” DVD.

After the event, Pat Laprade, author of the book “Mad Dogs, Midgets, and Screwjobs: The Untold Story Of How Montreal Shaped The World Of Wrestling” explained the significance of such a decision.

“Montreal has an incredible wrestling history that WWE will no longer be able to reference. No more Don Leo Jonathan. No Mad Dog and Butcher Vachon. No Rougeaus, no Frenchy Martin, no Leducs. No LuFisto!” yelled Laprade.

WWE has made adjustments to both their travel schedules and their characters to avoid further legal problems. Sami Zayn will now be listed as being from Flin Flan, Manitoba and Kevin Steen will be from Crotch Lake, Ontario.

Carl Ouellet, who wrestled in the WWE as Jean-Pierre LaFitte has offered to serve as a mediator for the two sides to work out a deal, but both WWE and the Montreal government have told him to go eat a bowl of poutine.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
13 Responses to "Headlies: Montreal Files Restraining Order Against The WWE"
  1. Gotchism For Life says:

    As a Canadian living in Florida…the stereotypes weren’t bad…

    But you should have included Molson in the article…and someone should have benn called a Hoser and told to “take off, eh.”

    Not a bad headlie…4/10. 😉

  2. Alexandru says:

    Too bad this couldn’t/wouldn’t ever happen. I’m all for anything that gets rid of the beyond played out screwjob crap. it really is a lame crutch. Vince needs to let it go

    • Gotchism For Life says:

      They won’t ever let it go…just like the “Authority” storyline that’s been running for 19 years…too lazy to think of something else. They also know their fans won’t stop watching, so they can just throw whatever they want on the screen.

  3. M says:

    I’m surprised they didn’t just bill Owens and Zayn from Toronto, like they do for any other Canadian not named Hart.

  4. Ze Frenchie says:

    A headlie about my hometown, yay! But there are two things that need some fixing.

    First, you have a sign of Quebec city, which has nothing to do with Montreal.
    Second, it’s “Coderre”. 😉

  5. Shockwave says:

    Heh, good stuff 🙂

  6. Thomas Moffatt says:

    The state of Quebec recalled Sylvain Grenier, it’s ambassador to WWE but nobody noticed. Or gave a shit.

  7. Keaton Arksey says:

    Hehe, Flin Flan. Silly Americans.

  8. Gabriel Benson says:

    Perfect. I was thinking as it played out again….. Stop! Please Stop, it’s already dead!

leave a comment