Someone Bought This: WWE takes out a $31,000,000 loan to buy a jet!

11 Submitted by on Mon, 12 August 2013, 18:27

WWE just took out a $31,000,000 loan to buy a brand spankin’ new jet.

I wonder what was so wrong with their old jet? Were the cup holders too small? The seats not plush enough? The snack fridge too small?

Wouldn’t it have been more financially responsible to the shareholders to buy a used one?

Oh well, at least now we know The McMahons and their friends will be traveling around in style for a good solid decade to come!

The loan is due to be paid back by 2020, so we’d better hope they get The WWE Network off the ground so we can send them our hard earned cash!

(Song selection courtesy of Mike Check’s music library).

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11 Responses to "Someone Bought This: WWE takes out a $31,000,000 loan to buy a jet!"
  1. CBCB says:

    I’m hoping to see Mark Henry drag this thing on an upcoming SmackDown…

  2. Raven7309 says:

    Dixie Carter would murder her firstborn child for the opportunity to blow $30 million.

  3. Anonymous says:

    If we see the WWE go out of business this will be the kind of thing that we’ll look back on. There is NOTHING positive that can come of this type of financial irresponsibility.

  4. Madman Szalinski says:

    WWE corporate spends $30m on a new jet.

    WWE’s roster is banged up and unable to get checked out due to WWE’s lack of medical coverage.

    But at least their boys aren’t applying for food stamps.

  5. CarlMarksGuy says:

    I think the only jet worth $31,000,000 to the WWE would be Jet Jaguar from “Godzilla vs. Megalon”, because Jet Jaguar can PROGRAM HIMSELF TO GET BIGGER. (I guess he’s kind of like Scott Steiner that way)

    If I could be serious for a moment(TM), just think of how they could have spent $31,000,000:

    A) the winner’s purse for 31 XFL “Million Dollar Cup” championships

    B) One Hundred and Twenty Four Diva Searches (with quarter-of-a-million dollar contracts)

    C) about 62% of a Linda McMahon senate campaign.

    D) “The Chaperone 2” through “The Chaperone 10” (if the IMDB’s budget estimate of 3 million is accurate)

    Uh…actually, maybe every time someone in Titan Towers has a brainstorm, they should just buy a jet, instead.

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      A Jet Jaguar reference? Awesome.

      • CarlMarksGuy says:

        Well, he’s an obvious choice; dude’s already got his own theme-song: “Jet Jaga…Jet Jaga…Hai! Hai! HAI!” Eat your heart out, Rick Springfield!

        In other news, I of course meant that $31 mil could finance ten “The Chaperone” sequels, which would mean we could have “The Chaperone 2” through “The Chaperone ELEVEN.”

  6. ScMcS says:

    Stephanie will probably just sell some more of her stock to pay this thing off.

  7. That Don Guy says:

    A loan? Vince doesn’t have $30 million lying around in petty cash?

    Semi-seriously, I wonder how long it would take to make $30 million (after taxes) if WWE raised all Raw and Smackdown taping ticket prices by $5 ($10 to be in the “camera view” seats)

  8. Bromotrifluoromethane says:

    Spending that kind of money on a new jet? I hope they name it “wCw”.

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