Someone Bought This: The Battle For The Belt board game is bonkers!

13 Submitted by on Wed, 04 February 2015, 15:00

WWF Battle For The Belt Board Game 1 WWF Battle For The Belt Board Game 2

 Crapper Louis Izzo writes:

Hello again from a long-time ‘Crapper. The Christmas season has passed, and I just couldn’t imagine sharing this with anyone but the rest of the Wrestlecrap fanbase. Everyone who knows me knows I’m a geek for rasslin’, video games, and other assorted tags that would label most people a virgin for life, and to no surprise, I was greeted with a few presents from the wonderful world of the WWE merchandise department. No, I won’t go into detail about a child’s Intercontinental Championship belt I received (white strap, mo’fo’s!), but one very odd item… a board game, circa 1999, called BATTLE FOR THE BELTS.

I’m a frequent eBay user who’s found some oddball stuff, but even I couldn’t find a copy of this for sale. VCR WrestleMania game? Easy. Wrestling Challenge from Milton Bradley? Check. Hell, even the Trivia Games from 1998-99 are readily available. Battle For The Belts? Nope. Nowhere. Checking on Amazon, and there’s a limited number available… for $99!!!! Please tell me someone didn’t spend that kind of scratch on this (it was sealed, so… hurray?).

Usually I can find fun in all sorts of whacky games, but this… this takes the cake. The idea is to select a WWF Superstar (options include Austin, Rock, Mankind, Undertaker, Kane, Edge, Chyna, and DEBRA MCMICHAEL), collect four endorsement cards, and roll a pair of 24 sided dice to determine winners in head to head battles. There’s even an overly complicated “ring” to set up using four flimsy pieces of decorated cardboard. This sounds OK, until you try and read the instructions, which might have been written by one Vince Russo. Rules so vague and overly complicated, I read them four times and still had to come to my own conclusion as to what to fucking do. The unfortunate soul playing along with me chose the Undertaker, and I picked my favorite, Kane, and true to life, we sat through 20-minutes of nothing to get to an unsatisfying conclusion. It’s a present I’ll never forget, but damn if I can ever stomach playing it again.

Oh, and dig SCORPIO on the cover. Who put this thing together!?

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13 Responses to "Someone Bought This: The Battle For The Belt board game is bonkers!"
  1. Mike says:

    This reminds me of an old WWF boardgame I had as a kid. Think I got it for Christmas. Can’t remember exactly how it played though (http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/12030/wwf-wrestling-challenge)

    • Dave says:

      I had that game when I was a kid too… and what’s more, I found it recently at a thrift store and bought it for three dollars! Wish I had someone to play it with, though. 🙁

  2. Scrooge McSuck says:

    Attempts at a second play-through were unsuccessful… and I really wanted to play as Debra lol

  3. AdamX says:

    The text in the induction beat me to it but good on Scorps for making it onto at least one piece of WWF merchandise…well he might have been on more I missed/forgot but still awesome.

  4. Time Lord Soundwave says:

    You keep calling it “Battle for the BELTS”, plural, but the title is clearly “Battle for the BELT”, singular.

  5. Drew says:

    Just got the updated 2015 version … let’s take a look, shall we? Oh, I see it’s dice activated. Okay, I roll a 4 and consult the board – “Long winded opening promo by Triple H. Go make yourself a sandwich.”
    Hmmmm. Roll again, this time a 3 and back to the board – “Triple H buries the career of your favorite wrestler. You’re eliminated from game.” What the … ?! I’ll just skip that result and roll again. This time I roll a 5. “Guess who’s back, this time with his dopey wife for another boring ass promo. Time to get a beer.” I’m starting to realize that whoever created this great game really understood WWE!! Okay, back to the dice … I roll a 1 this time. “Roman Reigns botches his promo and displays a move set that totals three spots. You receive a Wrestlemania push!” Man, was I lucky with THAT one! I’ve almost made it around the board … another roll, this time a 6. “Uhhhh, here’s the thing, uhhhh, lemme get this straight, uhhhh, I’m killing another ten minutes of air time with my fifth promo of the first, uhhh, hour. Go back to square one.” Forget it … I’d rather play checkers.

  6. Chardee MacDenis says:

    You know its Wrestlecrap when “no holds barred” appears on the box

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