WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXXI

27 Submitted by on Tue, 20 August 2013, 13:58

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. TNA cut all of those talents before deciding Brooke Hogan was overpaid (NR)

I’d really love to know how much more Hulk Hogan’s Grown-Up Spooge (slightly paraphrased from Louis CK) was making than actual, hard-working talents.

2. Botched ending/ref error in Raw mixed tag match (NR)

This warrants a Krusty the Clown/horrified while smoking a cigarette image: “What the hell was THAT?!” It’s actually cringeworthy to rewatch.

3. Smackdown rumored to be moving to three hours (NR)

Because the audience isn’t burned out enough, obviously. Oversaturating the talents even moreso is clearly good, and shouldn’t weigh against rights fees.

4. Ryback bullies SummerSlam catering staff (NR)

For an encore, Ryback and Woim will hassle the Little Rascals, and try to sabotage their soapbox derby car. See, Goldberg would never have done that.

5. Ric Flair apparently inebriated at SummerSlam panel (NR)

Even Flair apologists are finding it hard to defend his continued dignity-shedding. WWE was apparently furious at Flair’s behavior, and tried removing him.

6. WWE Total Divas (2)

A dip in the ratings for Real Housewives of Stamford, both here and in the Nielsens. Perhaps the novelty of “celebrity problems” is wearing thin on the audience.

7. Miz as a babyface (4)

Miz has done it, having been useless and annoying for thirty-one straight weeks. That makes him like Baskin Robbins.  An annoying Baskin Robbins.

8. Tito Ortiz swerves Main Event Mafia, joins Aces n Eights (NR)

Welcome back, Russo! Wait, you mean he hasn’t returned at all? Oh, well then who booked the predictable and pointless swerve then? Anyone?

9. McMahon Power Trip (5)

The Corporation is back! Or is that the McMahon-Helmsley Regime? Either, we’re doing the time warp once more, but it isn’t the same.

10. The Bella Twins (11)

Not sure how into the ‘sheets you read, but WWE considers these two the ‘top’ Divas of the company. As opposed to AJ and Kaitlyn, mind you.

11. Miz’s hosting performance at SummerSlam (13)

Apparently, all you need to do to be a host is dance with the divas, and generally act like Ryan Seacrest with an inner-ear imbalance. Who knew?

12. Bo Dallas as NXT Champion (9)

You realize all three  champs (WWE/World/NXT) have fathers that wrestled? At least Dos Caras and Bob Orton’s sons don’t look out of place as main eventers.

13. Epico and Primo repackaged as Los Matadores (NR)

The cousins are from Puerto Rico, where bullfighting is illegal. That won’t deter WWE, who will shoehorn any stereotype into the show that they can.

14. World of Sport Wrestling not returning to British TV (NR)

The iconic wrestling program, which once featured Dynamite Kid, Davey Boy Smith, and Dave Finlay, is back. Shame it’s not being televised like it should be.

15. Tony Dawson (NR)

By virtue of his appearance on Summerslam’s pre-show, Dawson ekes his way back onto the Crappings. It just wasn’t the same without him.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
27 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXXI"
  1. Craig says:

    And of course, the ending to Summerslam was far worse then any of that but we weren’t actually permitted to vote on that.

    • Justin Henry says:

      if you reverse the roles, and Daniel Bryan cashed in on Orton, whom HHH Pedigreed, would it still be Crap?

    • Superstarl says:

      I really don’t get the hate for this. Not liking a booking decision =/= wrestlecrap (in my mind). I get that a lot of people aren’t fans, but for each person against it, there is another for it. Let it play out. Enjoy it. Maybe we will get some crap as it goes on, but for now, I don’t know that it has hit the point where it is definitively bad.

  2. Cpt. SuckerPunch says:

    a worker and parasite reference…those are rare…thanks for that one sir…

  3. TK says:

    That back to back of images of Summerslam host the Miz and NXT champion Bo Dallas would scare kids to never be able to sleep again, but hey they’re supposed to be faces…right?

  4. John Q Occupier says:

    Looking at the votes on the votes post, I’m curious as to how Brooke Hogan’s firing came out top? Or is it like Eurovision and certain votes count more than others?

  5. Brandon says:

    Justin, you forget the main reason that Total Divas’ ratings were lower this week was due to SummerSlam. I bet the ratings go back up next week.

  6. TerrierChad says:

    This weeks Power Crappings have restored my faith in WrestleCrap. More than half expecting a backlash because Orton cashed in MIITB on Bryan but good to see that folk are actually waiting for how it will pan out. Hell, this could push Bryan even further over the top plus Orton is a far better heel than face.

  7. Bill Richy says:

    Anybody taking bets on who will be the first wrestler to get frustrated at the antics of Los Matadores and decide to “charge” at them like a bull?

    My money’s on Jack Swagger.

  8. Joe T says:

    1. TNA cut all of those talents before deciding Brooke Hogan was overpaid (NR)

    The fact that other talent (and some that may not have deserved it) was let go first is a push to me. This business has always been plagued with nepotism and cronyism regarless if it was detrimental to a company. The fact that they did do it is important because it means they are being critical of themselves and the bottom line despite other factors. They probably do deserve some flak for waiting (and hiring her in the first place) but should get some credit since they did can her.

    Of course if this was a mutual thing that she wanted (or asked for) or it ends up being some sort of work, that would nullify everything. If it is a behind the scenes writing on the wall thing of the companies future and she cashed in towards the end with some sort of payoff agreement with her release (this wouldn’t surprise me considering her gene pool), it should keep her out of the business for good.

    And I really didn’t have a problem with her (of course I wasn’t paying her either), I would simply hit the mute button on the tv when she appeared, it made her easy to watch. I do the same for Brad Maddox but give him the courtesy of putting on CC.

  9. Meh says:

    Three hour Smackdowns? YES! YES! YES! YES!

    But I would be equally with Four hour Raws and Two hour NXTs.

    If any of WWE’s various TV shows (which have to watched on the Internet in some places) that air worldwide need an extra hour it is NXT.

    Look at the size of the roster I feel that NXT needs a second hour.


    GM: Dusty Rhodes

    Male wrestlers

    Adam Mercer [not listed on WWE.com but wrestles in NXT]
    Adrian Neville [first person listed on WWE.com when using the NXT filter and better known by his former ring name PAC and not to be confused with Sean Waltman X-Pac.]
    Aiden English
    Alexander Rusev
    Angelo Dawkins
    Baron Corbin
    Bo Dallas (also listed on the Raw, Big E Langston, Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Summer Rae and Erick Rowan are also listed on both filters. William Regal is listed on both the SD! and NXT filters.)
    CJ Parker
    Colin Cassady
    Conor O’Brian
    Corey Graves (used to be known as Sterling James Keenan on the Indy circuit.)
    Danny Burch (Better known to UK fans as Martin Stone)
    Dante Dash
    Enzo Amore
    J Bronson [not listed on WWE.com but had a push in NXT before getting injured.]
    Jake Carter (Vader’s son)
    Jason Jordan
    Judas Devlin
    Kassius Ohno (used to be as Chris Hero on the Indy circuit.)
    Knuckles Madsen
    Leo Kruger
    Luther Ward
    Mason Ryan
    Mickey Keegan
    Mojo Rawley
    Oliver Grey (Better known to UK fans as Joel Redman.)
    Richie Steamboat [not listed on WWE.com. Won his feud with Ohno before getting injured.]
    Rick Victor
    Sami Zayn (formerly El Generico)
    Sawyer Fulton
    Scott Dawson
    Sylvester Lefort
    Travis Tyler
    Tyler Breeze
    Xavier Woods (Better known as Consequences Creed)


    Female wrestlers

    Charlotte (Ric Flair’s daughter)
    Paige (better known to UK fans as Britani Knight)
    Sasha Banks


    Yet To Appear On NXT

    Cal Bishop
    Malik Omari
    Troy McLain [listed on WWE.com]


    NXT = 43

  10. Alan says:

    “Nice” to see WWE make their “Corporate A+” Champion Randy Boreton, who has failed the Wellness Policy three(Count ’em…obviously WWE can’t count)times, yet is still employed. WWE has nowhere to go with this angle. The McMahon Family are all on the same page & having The Shield play the usual numbers game against the faces. Babyface beats down The Shield, the numbers game catches up to them, and then they hit the triple powerbomb. Same old crap over and over and over. It’s basically the nWo plus The Corporation and the McMahon-Helmsley era all rolled into one.

    • Meh says:

      2 times under the Wellness Program. But 4 times suspened.

      Randy Orton was first suspended in 2005 for testing positive for steroids but there was no Wellness Policy in place at the time. His push was toned down as punishment.

      Orton’s suspension in April 2006 was for 60 days for “unprofessional conduct.” Orton apparently openly rolled a marijuana joint backstage at a SmackDown taping in late March of that year, a week prior to WrestleMania. Bruce Prichard found out about the incident and reported it to management. Orton was apparently already in hot water at that point over past infractions prior to the Wellness Policy being put in place, and that action was said to have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. While suspended, Orton spent four weeks at an anger management clinic in Atlanta, GA. This apparently did not count as a Wellness Policy violation because the company didn’t test for marijuana at the time, and the suspension was viewed more as a conduct violation.


      First time under the Wellness Program was in mid-August 2006 for a Wellness Policy violation, which would be considered his first violation. During that period, Orton was involved in a feud with Hulk Hogan which was building towards a match at Summerslam, and he was able to stay on the road and appear on television during that period. Orton was removed from house shows for over a 30 day period from mid-August to mid-September, during which time Orton moved into a new home with his fiancée.


      Orton wasn’t suspened in the 2007 bust despite his name being on the customer list.

      Second time under the he Wellness Program.was on Wednesday, May 30, 2012, Orton had been suspended for 60 days for his second violation of the WWE Wellness Policy. This was his third official suspension in WWE. The positive test was caused by elevated testosterone levels due to Dianabol and he had traces of marijuana in his system.

      Source: http://www.wrestlingnewsworld.com/wwe/wwe-suspensions/

      • Hashington says:

        Their wellness policy is a joke anyway. The only people who get “busted” are the ones they already have a problem with.

  11. Falcone says:

    Regarding The Matadors. Yes, it’s ridiculous and a goofy repackaging. Know what else was? Fandango. And as I recall, you guys ended up making an entire article about why you were wrong for judging Fandango by his cover.

    Give it a chance at least.

  12. Joe T says:

    9. McMahon Power Trip (5)

    Forgot in my above diatribe to comment on this.
    Vince’s wardrobe is making this thing harder to watch among the many other things. If this is part of the doddering old fool bit they’re serving up, they need to be told the clothes aren’t needed for us to believe. If it’s just the blind guy that has been dressing him for years, he really needs to go.

  13. The Last Doink says:

    Honestly I think that this whole McMahon power trip isn’t half bad. The fans, once again, are getting smart about the business and WWE has kinda acknowledged it. Of course it has it’s flaws, Vince’s wardrobe for one, but for me this is a welcome change. The reason WWE has been somewhat stale currently is because the heels are either weak and cowardly or they have their other buddies come over and stomp a jig into the other guy and get the pin. But with the “return” of the Corporation now they can screw over people in a bureaucratic way. Fixed refs, fixed rules, and punishment for stepping out of the company line. And I know how us internet wrestling fans have been begging for a Cena heel turn, remember the promo that he, “loves WWE more than anything,” there you have it folks.

leave a comment