WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXIX

20 Submitted by on Tue, 06 August 2013, 15:08

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. Tito Ortiz revealed as August 1 mystery man (NR)

The only thing icier than the crowd reaction to Ortiz’s debut is “Iceman” Chuck Liddell, and he’s caved Ortiz’s head in twice. Not a good start.

2. Kurt Angle arrested for fourth DUI in six years (NR)

Angle did the wise thing and checked into rehab, but given that he put lives in danger while impaired, many voters had zero pity for the Olympic hero.

3. South African man attacks Randy Orton prior to match (NR)

It’s still real to this Cape Towner. Though some believe this to be somehow a work, it’s pretty obvious that it’s a case of a dumb fan going too far.

4. Nikki Bella distracts Natalya using a duck call (NR)

Because Natalya’s an ugly duckling! HA HA HA HA. Seriously, do all heel divas have to act like they’re in junior high? Smart, sexy, powerful my ass.

5. WWE Total Divas (5)

You know a show is fake when wrestling fans, often victims of jerks telling them how fake wrestling is, look at Total Divas and go, “Wow, this shit is SOOOO fake.”

6. McMahon Power Trip (NR)

Take every “McMahons in charge” angle of the last 15 years. Now get drunk and weave them into one angle. That’s still better than this self-indulgence.

7. Vickie Guerrero is now in charge of Smackdown (13)

Speaking of power garbage, the hated Vickie is apparently a face for a week after making Alberto choose a suitable opponent. Eh?

8. Miz as a babyface (6)

29 for 29! Miz nearly fell off this week, but a flood of votes poured in, following his commentary stint on Monday. See that? The Miz IS an inspirational figure.

9. Bo Dallas as NXT Champion (14)

People just don’t like Bo. The more his interesting big brother gets to chew the scenery on Raw, the more bland baby brother looks. A more vanilla Rocky Maivia.

10. Bully Ray vs. Brooke Hogan (NR)

Seeing so many TNA releases while Hulk’s daughter (and Bischoff’s kid) hang around only stirs up ill feelings toward Impact Wrestling. Hint hint, Dixie.

11. Layla turns on Kaitlyn, despite there being no reason to ally with her (NR)

I have nothing to add to the dumb angle. So let’s just talk about how scintillating that shot of Layla is. I can see why she’s the preferred ‘deever’ here at The Crap.

12. The Bella Twins (10)

Between duck calls, juvenile behavior, atrocious acting, and being on that crappy reality show, the Professional Celebrities add no substance.

13. Miz announces he will ‘host’ Summerslam (7)

And Miz played it up on commentary like it’s an honor and a big deal. That’s a level of denial rarely seen outside of Kate Moss padlocking her refrigerator.

14. Kassius Ohno benched for purportedly not having a presentable physique (2)

Which begs the question: if being buff and ripped is paramount to being a bad ass, how come Undertaker never competes without a shirt of some sort?

15. MizTV with the Total Divas cast, complete with push of untrained Eva Marie (1)

This train wreck from 2 weeks ago got enough support to rank this week. It’s the genesis of their trash TV side project, so you can see why it’s hated.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
20 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXIX"
  1. zeedeevel says:

    I’m pretty sure #15 is on here just because the Miz hosted it. His old character was so much better, now he makes me want to turn off Raw

  2. Down With OPC says:

    Miz’s commentary this week was atrocious! Unfortunately, I sent my votes in before that!

  3. John Q Occupier says:

    I have a sneaking suspicion that the “flood of votes” for #8 were made by the staff of this website- but even my own GF calls me a cynical old jerk, so what do I know?

  4. ScMcS says:

    The Bellas make me long for the days of Triple H, circa 2002, running (ruining?)the company with his “I must go over EVERYONE” character. There’s having a heel as Champ, letting a face chase him, but beating everyone? Sorry, I hate that era so much, yet still prefer it over these Diva clowns.

    • Autrach Sejanoz says:

      *slaps you in the face* PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, MAN!

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      Do you mean the Triple H days when every RAW opened will mind-numbingly boring promo that consisted of Trips going “A-huh, a-huh, a-huh, I-AM-THE-GAME, a-huh, a-huh, a-huh, THAT-DAMN-GOOD”??? Because thpse were far more interesting than the Bellas and Bo Dallas combined…

  5. 314 says:

    Sad to see “Sheamus as a babyface” get bumped off…too bad, it was a staple of these rankings.

  6. MJA says:

    Even if it was for no reason, I’m not sure Layla turning heel was in any way a bad thing. She already looks way more comfortable in the role, and it doesn’t hurt that she instantly became 10x more attractive.

  7. Big Jim says:

    Is Bo Dallas still behind me? I mean, if it was Bray we could share beard grooming tips…but Bo? He truly creeps me out.

    • Sir Thomas says:

      I have a feeling he’ll be right behind me tomorrow. Especially when he figures out that was the European title I threw his way, and not something good.

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        Wonder if they are going to acknowledge Bo Dallas and Bray Wyatt as brothers and bill Bo as Bray’s creepier little brother…

      • The Cabana Formerly Belonging To Carlito says:

        How dare you try to give Bo Dallas something of that value. Give him the Intercontinental Championship, something far more worthless, he might be more eager considering it’s still active.

  8. Jake says:

    Why is Miz stealing clothes from the Joker’s wardrobe?

  9. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Bo Dallas has been surrounded by top draw grappler’s his whole life – his grandfather (Blackjack Mulligan) was one of the toughest and is in the HoF, his father (Mike Rotundo) was arguably one of the most underrated of all time who was lumped with stupid gimmicks, his uncle Barry Wyndham was an incredible natural talent with the sweetest suplex I have ever seen who is rightfully in the HoF, his brother (Bray Wyatt) is the hottest talent in WWE

    Then you realise there was another uncle and Bo Dallas is heading in his direction…

    Time for a fantasy Wrestlecrap page where the crappest of the crap lockhorns – Bo Dallas v Kendall Wyndham v Greg Gagne in a triple threat to open I say…

  10. Frozen Banana Expert says:

    And #14 is exactly why Chris Hero should have never traded in his NOAH onesie.

    To think, he could have avoided all of this by putting on a shirt.

  11. 80's Guy says:

    What I’d like to know is why, if Orton got up and was able to go kick the fan in the head, why did they call off the meet and greet thing? He obviously wasn’t “injured” or he wouldn’t have been able to walk and look just fine.

    Also, why was it cancelled altogether? There were supposed to be more than one person at the thing, so if only one was “hurt” or couldn’t do it, why did that extend to the other talent who were perfectly fine?

    Just one more way to rob the fans. I f’n hate the corporate mentality.

  12. Meh says:

    The Miz hate is getting way out of hand. WrestleCrap author Justin Henry seems to call him a completely unlikable waste of air, but like it or not Miz is actually decently over as a face.

    The fact that Miz is on the list 3 times pretty much proves that the Power Crappings are smarks-only voting.

  13. Ezenwa says:

    I just heard that on a recent episode of NXT, Bo Dallas called Sami Zayn “inexperienced” (which will definitely make the smarter fans mad) and Antonio Cesaro a “talented kid” (which just about made me mad, apparently forgetting that he has a track record on Raw…something Bo Dallas doesn’t have, save for one victory).

    Yea, I’m voting him in for next time around.

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