WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXIV

22 Submitted by on Tue, 02 July 2013, 13:31

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. Briscoe Brothers not retained by ROH, even though Jay is World Champion (NR)

Two weeks, two unfortunate stories involving the hard-working indy. Those arguing against gay marriage can point out its fragmentation of ROH, sort of.

2. Alberto Del Rio’s “Fiesta” (NR)

You know, in case the audience forgot Del Rio was Latino. WWE has the subtlety of spontaneous combustion, and can be just as harrowing to watch.

3. Four former FCW/NXT talents list off mistreatment charges against Bill DeMott (NR)

Tales include allegedly having a gun in his office, and beating wrestlers with a yardstick. There’s tough love training, and then there’s being a dick.

4. Stephanie McMahon talks down to AJ and Kaitlyn, just to show she’s a bad ass (1)

Gonna be hard to shake this one. Hey, USA wanted the McMahons on the air more to “increase ratings”. Hell, I know I tune in for garbage like this!

5. Ryan Howe vs. Big O, Gut Check Challenge (NR)

While I like the Gut Check Challenge, this match was a bit of a farce. A Tough Enough reject vs. Zack Ryder’s buddy didn’t translate to good TV.

6. Sheamus as a babyface (6)

Things Sheamus has achieved as a face: made The Miz a tad bit more tolerable, and made Two and a Half Men a viable television alternative.

7. Stereotypical weapons used in Dublin Street Fight (NR)

More Sheamus? Ok then. What’s more Irish than potatoes and a green kendo stick? Somewhere, Finlay’s shillalegh cries its Irish eyes out.

8. Sheamus’ Brogue Kick Hotline, 1-800-FELLA (3)

STILL more Sheamus? Geez, you guys are brutal! Apparently, even cheesy faux ads can’t save the image of this unique talent. What a shame.

9. Stephanie McMahon’s acting (10)

Sofia Coppola meets Rosie the Robot. This is why Bonnie Hammer, USA, and NBC Universal should be dissolved: THEY WANTED MORE MCMAHONS.

10. James Storm/Gunner vs. The Bro-MANS (NR)

The usually dependable James Storm cuts a bad promo en route to trying to carry three bums. Eh well. At least Tara’s fun to look at, right?

11. Bo Dallas as NXT Champion (12)

The Patrick McEnroe to Bray Wyatt’s John, Bo continues his quest to be the most vanilla champion since, well, Del Rio’s face turn this year.

12. Madison Rayne goes on immature rant about Miss Tessmacher’s grooming habits (NR)

Someone noted that it could be the pregnancy hormones affecting Rayne’s temperament. Either way, it’s interesting fodder for a site reveling in the inane.

13. Miz as a babyface (5)

Wow, almost snuck away! For the 24th straight week, The Miz ranks here, and he will likely return next week after his bizarre victory over Ryback.

14. Tony Dawson (11)

The generic doucheknuckle is maintaining consistent residence here at The ‘Crap. What is it with Kevin Dunn and hiring Ken Doll lookalikes?

15. Brooke Hogan’s State-of-the-Knockouts Address (4)

I have nothing to add to the segment. I just wanna note the greatness of the picture. Wish type of fish would you most say she resembles here?


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
22 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXIV"
  1. patricko says:

    Answer to # 15 – One that’s out of water, gasping for breath.

    where might one find out more about Rayne’s rant and the allegations against demott?

    After watching Raw last night, and the scene between Steph and Vickie, can we just permanently affix stephanie in the rankings?

    • Justin Henry says:

      Demott story: http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/274555-more-former-wwe-nxt-stars-speak-out-on-bill-demott-and-accuse-him-of-having-a-gun-in-his-office-beating-the-talents-using-homophobic-slurs-a-more

      Rayne story: http://www.prowrestling.com/madison-rayne-rants-on-miss-tessmacher/

      • BaltoJim says:

        Madison Rayne has “seen the inside of the gear bags of just about every Knockout in the locker room”.

        Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I don’t know whether to be turned on or disgusted…

  2. ezenwa says:

    As for what type of fish Brooke resembles, I’d say the foul-mouth bass. After all, between her potty-mouthed tirade against Scott Steiner some years back on Twitter, and having to kiss Bully Ray and her new fiance, I’d say she need to hit the Listerine, and quick.

    Also, Madison Rayne is taking shots at Miss Tessmacher? When did this happen? Last I checked, one was out of TNA, and the other was…..kind of not on TNA TV. Hmm….

  3. Raven7309 says:

    Regarding the Miz, I bought the “War Games” dvd last week and the one thing that stuck out was the fact that both Miz and Dusty Rhodes apply the figure-four the exact same way. Maybe if Miz gained 70-80 pounds and painted a mid-section splotch on his stomach, the fans might acctually like him.

  4. Raven7309 says:

    Regarding the Miz, I bought the “War Games” dvd last week and the one thing that stuck out was the fact that both Miz and Dusty Rhodes apply the figure-four the exact same way. Maybe if Miz gained 70-80 pounds and painted a mid-section splotch on his stomach, he might actually get over with the fans.

  5. Sir Thomas says:

    Rankings like this have me convinced Sheamus will one day eat about three-fourths of the entire rankings. The remainder will be Stephany McMahon and babyface Miz fighting for the scraps.

  6. Down With OPC says:

    Brooke is a singing rubber fish, of course.

    • Sean O says:

      Suddenly I am reminded of this commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bJOIqVAD-s and now I am thinking of Brooke Hogan singing that exact song…KUDOS!

  7. Mike says:

    #15 – Obviously, a suckfish.

  8. MisterSpiffy says:

    I have a feeling Ricardo Rodriguez will be on here next week…

  9. Jonathan says:

    I like face Miz, darn it.

  10. TerrierChad says:

    ROH is really starting to become unglued as of late. The Briscoe’s have always been one of the main reasons to tune into ROH so losing them is big. Where will they go though? No doubt TNA would take them and do what TNA usually does if they went there and they wouldn’t be a good fit in the WWE even though they would help bolster the tag ranks. It would be a shame to lose them in the indies or abroad.

    • Stuart Ratliff says:

      Blame there ownership (Sinclair Broadcasting) for taking on a lot more debt. They have been buying up local TV stations at an absurd rate lately.

  11. ReallyPeteGas says:

    Wow, this week in wrestling was bad. Didn’t really think about it till I read this. Right up there with Pretty Mean Sista’s making Meat wrestle with a boner… almost.

  12. Dan Sheldon says:

    Was Flair and Piper on Wife Swap not eligible for this week? I thought that would be a surefire top ten if not #1 this week LOL

  13. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I’m going out on a limb here but I believe the main candidates for this year’s Gooker are going to be Sheamus, Triple H and Nipple H – one of them has to feature big time…

  14. patricko says:

    Hey. Just my opinion, but this is wrestlecrap. Not podcast crap, twitter crap, etc.

    Three unemployed ex-NXT guys get together on a podcast and bee-yatch about their ex-trainer.

    Ex knockout blogs about the fact that another ex-knockout may have wore unwashed undergarments to the ring, and had a rolling pin in her bag.

    How can these be on par with… I don’t know…. something to do with current wrestling superstarts / storylines / annoying stuff on televised wrestling programs?

    where do we draw wrestlecrap line, as far as obscure and irrelevant is concerned.?

  15. Ewa Beach Boy says:

    Brooke is obviously the never rare (See Greg Gagne) in wrestling at least Nepatism trout.

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