WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXI

12 Submitted by on Tue, 11 June 2013, 13:12

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1.Vince and Stephanie program themselves in opening Raw segment, ‘surprised’ when rating bombs (NR)

Up against an NBA Game 7, the McMahons figured the fans would stick around due to their sheer presence. The first hour set the tone for a 2.6 evening.

2. Curtis Axel’s push consists of fluke victories (2)

At least Jericho let the poor guy pin him on Smackdown. Feuding with Trips is like diving into a snake pit: it ain’t gonna end well for you.

3. WWE App overpushed (3)

The show never ends during commercial, you know. You can watch the entrances for meaningless midcard matches if you download the magical app.

4. Jesse Ventura announces frivolous run for 2016 Presidency (NR)

Another attention grab for an increasingly senile “Body”. At least at debates, he could make his Dusty Rhodes fat jokes about Chris Christie.

*Nov 09 - 00:10*
5. WWE continues to bait and switch promised matches on Main Event (NR)

Chalk this one up to paranoid Vince switching things at the last minute. Pretty sad state of affairs when the ‘wrestling’ show is coming under fire now.

6. Sheamus as a babyface (15)

“Boy, I hope Sheamus gets revenge on Sandow for the way Sandow attacked Sheamus after Sheamus destroyed his computer!” – nobody rational.

7. Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E Langston: every single show (NR)

This one’s irksome because it’s clear WWE has zero back-up plan for when someone (Ziggler) gets hurt. Ahh, the wonders of pushing other people.

8. TNA doesn’t pay Zema Ion’s medical bills (7)

Still no word on whether or not TNA’s coughing up the cash. But given that a few guys got released last week, it’s seeming a little doubtful.

9. Miz as a babyface (9)

And he has tied the Undertaker’s streak! I kinda hope he never turns heel for our sake, but his sake, well, yeah, he’d probably be booked more competently.

10. Triple H sustains lingering head injury (13)

It’s because of this storyline that Hunter, Vince, and Stephanie are heavily involved. Three people who drove fans away TEN YEARS AGO.

11. The Usos now wear facepaint because ‘it gives them an edge’ (NR)

And what edge would that be? The one where they miss several TV shows afterward? Either the writers forget em, or the paint acts as camouflage.

12. AJ Styles’ hairstyle (5)

“The Phenomenal Bieber”? It’s kind of hard to take the brooding, angry-at-the-world daredevil seriously when he looks like “Honey, I Shrunk Billy Jack Haynes.”

13. WWE Total Divas is coming to E! (NR)

You have to hate any show where they bring in two outside “Divas” who will likely be trainwrecks when they’re on TV. But that’s WWE for ya.

14. TNA releases Douglas Williams (NR)

Perhaps it was for the best, given his lack of airtime. Of course, he could always go back to ROH and ply his gifted athletics there once more.

Doug Williams
15. Tony Dawson (12)

The week concludes with NXT’s lead announcer getting his unusual moment of infamy. He’s hated for the reason people hate Cole: he took Jim Ross’s job.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
12 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXI"
  1. Alan says:

    It’s time for Vince to retire. This HHH storyline is beyond horrible. Thrill as Vince steals the ring bell! Thrill as a match is restarted over and over within a few minutes! Thrill as Raw ratings fall off of a cliff!

  2. Jimbolian says:

    HOLY CRAP, you’re spot on Justin of Styles being Billy Jack Hayes’s Mini-Me.

    All we just need now is him doing yellow trunks and a silly hat, eventually jump ship to WWE, and change his gimmick to a nasty brute of a medieval executioner from a little town in France.

    • Paul says:

      He does look a bit funny, but how fitting would typically clean cut A.J. have been for the new gimmick? He’s damned either way, I think.

    • Dan Sheldon says:

      I was just about to comment on he Billy Jack Haye’s comment! Hilarious!!!

  3. Sir Thomas says:

    Wow, I’m surprised Vikki Guerrero plugging Hardee’s and displaying her complete and total lack of table manners would’ve at least made 14 or 15. I guess never under estimate the power of Tony, huh?

  4. Paul says:

    Maybe I’m a jerk, but why should TNA pay Zema Ion’s medical bills? There were rightly criticized for the Daffney fiasco, but in this case Ion’s issues weren’t work related. Are people calling for a charitable act or do they really believe TNA should be responsible?

  5. Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

    Nah, I hate Tony Dawson (and vote for him every week) because he took Scott Stanford’s job on Superstars.

  6. Charles belles says:

    Dawson reminds me of rd from pwi. Maybe Tony saw him there and he is trying to copy him.

  7. Thomas Moffatt says:

    People forget that Byron Saxton started off on NXT as the play by play man but is now the ring announcer – was it because he might have done a better job than Cole? There’s a lingering Josh Matthews heel turn, too, do they want a commentator more unpopular than Cole?

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