WrestleCrap Power Crappings, Week XVIII

14 Submitted by on Tue, 21 May 2013, 15:21

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. John Cena survives 3 on 1 against The Shield (NR)

So maybe it didn’t hurt the Shield all that much, but the immediate outrage to three interesting villains getting punked by an injured Cena was palpably thick.

2. Chavo Guerrero needlessly involves himself in Aries/Hemme incident (NR)

The unfortunate incident was already being rectified behind the scenes. No need for Chavo’s “WERE YOU THERE?” obnoxiousness to fans on Twitter.

3. John Cena vs. Ryback ends in non-finish (NR)

Granted, it’s not the first Last Man Standing match to end with a double KO, but these “stretched over 2 or 3 $55-PPV” feuds get tiresome in a hurry.

4. WWE officials reportedly find Antonio Cesaro ‘boring’ (NR)

There’s a point to ponder: they get rid of talent who don’t connect, but Stephanie and the creative team remain largely unchanged. Odd indeed.

5. WWE App Overkill (NR)

Downloadit. Downloadit. Downloadit. Downloadit. Downloadit. Downloadit. DOWNLOADIT. WHY HAVEN’T YOU DOWNLOADED IT.

6. Sheamus as a babyface (4)

As popular a hero as Meteor Man, with unfortunately far more staying power. Outside of his skin and his accent, he’s not unique, except in his unlikability.


7. Miz as a babyface (11)

Although not currently the most hated face by Our Loyal Crappers, he still makes the list, 18 weeks running! Did anyone miss him while he was away?

8. WWE creative reportedly has no plans for Christian (1)

Consider the two previous entries, and then consider this one. And some of you thought my protesting of the May 20 Raw was a little excessive. Eh eh.

9. The Jericho-Fandango Danceoff (NR)

I personally had no issues with this segment (I loves me some Edyta), except for that fact that it took 15 minutes to execute a bait and switch.

10. Alberto Del Rio as a babyface (NR)

He turned without explanation, and WWE can’t seem to figure out why fans chant for Dolph Ziggler during his matches. It’s a mystery for the ages!

11. Tony Dawson (9)

One reader nailed it: they got rid of several NXTers last week who worked hard, but not the blithering idiot that can’t do their work justice. The Shield should fix this.

12. Taz on commentary (NR)

Veers too much between calling the action to his best abilities, and then ramping up the obnoxious heel act when he remembers he’s supposed to be a dick.

13. Jay Briscoe makes violent threat to gay marriage advocates (2)

If I may, seems this entry got the Chic Fil A treatment: temporary outrage, followed by a quick moving on. Describes a lot of these entries actually.

14. James Storm’s plodding, slow attacks against Dirty Heels, Bad Influence (NR)

Storm seems quite subdued in his recent attacks against turncoat friends. And it’s for naught: a groin injury has shelved him 6-8 weeks.

15. WWE releases Derrick Bateman (NR)

I never much cared for him, but “USA Guy” had a following more cult than mainstream. That, sadly, tends to get some people the premature axe.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
14 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings, Week XVIII"
  1. VDM says:

    It’s not that Sheamus is unlikeable. Just that he’s Randy Orton 2.0 – booked as an asshole even though he’s the face, and on every show all the time whether he’s in a feud or not.

  2. CBCB says:

    With how WWE keeps pushing their App, I expect #5 to be on this list for a very long time. I have no interest in downloading their App, period. However, if this site here had a “crApp”, I’d be up for that!

  3. Dan Sheldon says:

    I think it’s time to get over Miz being a babyface LOL! At this rate he’s gonna win the Gooker award!

  4. Jay says:

    I’ve been out of it. What is this ‘unfortunate incident’ between Aries and Hemme?

    • Autrach Sejanoz says:

      Here’s footage:

      Hemme was said to be a bit upset about it, and Spike TV’s parent company Viacom was outraged.

    • Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

      Well, similarly named friend, Christy did a major botch of the intro for a tag match Aries was in, then he stood on the turnbuckle with his face in his crotch. Mark Madden being Mark Madden stirred some crap, saying it was “sexual harassment”, when Christy and Aries had already talked about it backstage. Now Chavo’s getting in on it because… well, he’s Chavo, he’s gotta ride someone’s coattails. 😛

    • Tempest_Fennac says:

      Hemme supposedly introduced Aries and Roode as their opponants, and Aries responded by forcing her into a corner and climbing onto the 2nd rope so his crotch was in her face. As you can imagine, this sort of sexual harassment annoyed a lot of people.

  5. Jimbolian says:

    Holy moley, is it just me or does Derrick Bateman look like a roided up Andy Samberg to you?

  6. Bill Richy says:

    It looks like people have started to realize the truth about WWE Superstars – the heels are actually the good guys. Seriously, watching any random episode of any random WWE show will bring you the same conclusion – the most selfish, juvenile douchebags in the company are John Cena, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio and Triple H, while the most sensible, reasonable, sympathetic characters on the roster right now are Big Show, Ryback and Mark Henry.
    It’s like a totally different show if you watch with that mentality going in.

    • Craig says:

      How is Alberto Del Rio a douchebag? On the RAWs and Smackdowns I watch, he’s mostly been fending off Swagger and Coulter’s attempts to brutally injure him. Not sure how that’s douchey really.

      As for Mark Henry and Ryback, I don’t really find either of them to be all that sympathetic. Mark Henry’s entire character is based around savagely attacking people. Ryback on the other hand, turned heel because Cena didn’t save him from the Shield. So a guy doesn’t devote himself to your defense 24/7 it’s okay to savagely attack them?

  7. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I wonder if Cesaro grew his hair long and started every RAW by going “A-hur, A-hur, A-hur, I am the Game, A-hur, A-hur, A-hur, that damn good!” they would push him? PERHAPS Nipple H and Co think with this shaven head he looks too much like Triple H?

  8. Paul R. from SpookCentral.tk says:

    Whenever WWE goes on and on about their stupid app, I remember the words of the late great Curt Hennig and the West Texas Rednecks: THE APP IS CRAP!


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