Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!
1. ‘Heroic’ Sheamus cheapshots Mark Henry in Tug of War (NR)
I’m convinced the writers are seeing who can make Sheamus more of an irredeemable douchebag. The other bettors bowed to who came up with this one.
2. Raw announcers shill the Domino’s Pizza Tracker (NR)
Heart attack jokes aside, the reason it sucks is Cole is so over the top when he shills, he comes off as phonier than Nikki Bella’s enhancements.
3. The Dance-Off (NR)
What’s worse: that this is the most significant thing Natalya has done in a year, or that dancer Summer Rae mysteriously vanished afterward?
4. Antonio Cesaro yodels (2)
Well, not anymore, but the lingering stench of this stereotypical idea garnered a number of votes this week, from hordes of disgusted Cesaro fans.
5. WWE Network set to launch “by end of 2015” (NR)
The picture to the right is the highest of high comedy. Remember those annoying dubstep ads promoting the 2012 launch? WWE wants you to forget em.
6. Brad Maddox (NR)
The awfulness of this Workaholics reject ruined RD’s enjoyment of Saturday Morning Slam. The voting populace took up for Real Deal this week, it seems.
7. Chavo Guerrero, on the mic (NR)
Following the humor of Daniels and Aries isn’t wise for Chavo, who comes off as a cliched John Lame-izamo when he speaks these days. And no one cares.
8. Miz as a babyface (15)
Dude hasn’t appeared on Raw in three weeks; why the uptick in votes? Was everyone just afraid he would fall off the board? The voters certainly rallied here.
9. Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar at Extreme Rules (7)
I can only imagine the votes this will get after the overly-long destruction of Hunter’s office, following by Hunter being all “meh”. What a build.
10. Matt Morgan gets #1 contender’s match, despite inactivity (NR)
Sure, Hogan was trying to placate Morgan’s whining in the story, but I can’t remember Morgan wrestling since a Smackdown match in 2005. Or close to that.
11. Hulk Hogan and Sting run off Aces n Eights (1)
Sting will likely put Bully Ray over at Slammiversary, but it goes for both companies: we’re tired of the fossils. Let go of the side of the pool, please.
12. Alberto Del Rio claims he turned face because the fans demanded it (NR)
Positive spin, and all that good stuff. If Rey Mysterio had 2 good knees, Del Rio would still be a heel doing the “MAH DESTINY” schtick. That’s the truth.
13. Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Zeb Colter vs. Big E Langston (NR)
It was novel when it happened on Raw, but when Smackdown mutated into a 3 way tag with them involved, it watered a neat idea down.
14. Tony Dawson (NR)
Can you pretend to know nothing about wrestling? Can you say “for the win” Do you look like a news anchor? Send your resume to WWE, c/o Kevin Dunn.
15. Total Divas coming to E! (5)
It may seem harmless now, but wait until “new Divas” Jo-Jo and Eva Marie are on Raw, winning matches to hype the show.
Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)