WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XVI

9 Submitted by on Tue, 07 May 2013, 13:26

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. ‘Heroic’ Sheamus cheapshots Mark Henry in Tug of War (NR)

I’m convinced the writers are seeing who can make Sheamus more of an irredeemable douchebag. The other bettors bowed to who came up with this one.

2. Raw announcers shill the Domino’s Pizza Tracker (NR)

Heart attack jokes aside, the reason it sucks is Cole is so over the top when he shills, he comes off as phonier than Nikki Bella’s enhancements.

3. The Dance-Off (NR)

What’s worse: that this is the most significant thing Natalya has done in a year, or that dancer Summer Rae mysteriously vanished afterward?

4. Antonio Cesaro yodels (2)

Well, not anymore, but the lingering stench of this stereotypical idea garnered a number of votes this week, from hordes of disgusted Cesaro fans.

5. WWE Network set to launch “by end of 2015” (NR)

The picture to the right is the highest of high comedy. Remember those annoying dubstep ads promoting the 2012 launch? WWE wants you to forget em.

6. Brad Maddox (NR)

The awfulness of this Workaholics reject ruined RD’s enjoyment of Saturday Morning Slam. The voting populace took up for Real Deal this week, it seems.

7. Chavo Guerrero, on the mic (NR)

Following the humor of Daniels and Aries isn’t wise for Chavo, who comes off as a cliched John Lame-izamo when he speaks these days. And no one cares.

8. Miz as a babyface (15)

Dude hasn’t appeared on Raw in three weeks; why the uptick in votes? Was everyone just afraid he would fall off the board? The voters certainly rallied here.

9. Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar at Extreme Rules (7)

I can only imagine the votes this will get after the overly-long destruction of Hunter’s office, following by Hunter being all “meh”. What a build.

10. Matt Morgan gets #1 contender’s match, despite inactivity (NR)

Sure, Hogan was trying to placate Morgan’s whining in the story, but I can’t remember Morgan wrestling since a Smackdown match in 2005. Or close to that.

11. Hulk Hogan and Sting run off Aces n Eights (1)

Sting will likely put Bully Ray over at Slammiversary, but  it goes for both companies: we’re tired of the fossils. Let go of the side of the pool, please.

12. Alberto Del Rio claims he turned face because the fans demanded it (NR)

Positive spin, and all that good stuff. If Rey Mysterio had 2 good knees, Del Rio would still be a heel doing the “MAH DESTINY” schtick. That’s the truth.

13. Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Zeb Colter vs. Big E Langston (NR)

It was novel when it happened on Raw, but when Smackdown mutated into a 3 way tag with them involved, it watered a neat idea down.

14. Tony Dawson (NR)

Can you pretend to know nothing about wrestling? Can you say “for the win” Do you look like a news anchor? Send your resume to WWE, c/o Kevin Dunn.

15. Total Divas coming to E! (5)

It may seem harmless now, but wait until “new Divas” Jo-Jo and Eva Marie are on Raw, winning matches to hype the show.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
9 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XVI"
  1. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I would go for a hybrid and add one of the best commentator’s in WWE, William Regal, stuck between two pillocks on last weeks NXT – pillock one being Brad Maddox and pillock two no less an authority than Tony Dawson – enough said…

  2. Charlie Murphy says:

    What makes the Sheamus thing even more of a facepalm this week is that just before Mark Henry came out the WWE showed one of their anti-bullying videos. This has to be some kind of weird angle to make Sheamus a heel or turn Henry face because otherwise i’m just at a loss.

  3. Mister Forth says:

    Gotta love Trips no-selling the 1998 laptop & replica belt being destroyed.

  4. DrewVonAwesomeDreDafkldshjfk;alsdhgf;jlhdfsdf says:

    I just love Brock’s face in that Extreme Rules match up picture. Like he walked in on his naked grandma.

    • Ewa Beach Boy says:

      HA! I think you’re right about that!!!

      WWE Staffer to Brock: “We need a pic of you for the Extreme Rules PPV. Just Stand in front of this blue screen and pretend you saw grandma naked. Got it, Perfect!!!

  5. AlexanAdru says:

    Lol at people voting Face Miz. people must have really wanted him to stay on the list. Surprised Morgan’s #1 contenders match wasn’t higher it is idiotic he is even put in that position yet Storm isn’t.

  6. Deathedge says:

    Watch; After the Total Divas show actually debuts, I have a feeling that not only will it shoot up to number 1 in the rankings, RD might have to induct an entire TV show as a Gooker reward winner… XD

  7. IC says:

    #1 should actually read: ‘Heroic’ Sheamus cheapshots Mark Henry in Tug of War/Arm Wrestling contest/while on commentary.
    Sheamus and Cena are unbearable to watch right now and have been for a while.

  8. Jerichoholic Ninja says:

    I’m not defending the booking of Sheamus, but fans are applying something of a double standard to the Number 1 this week. The Rock and Steve Austin used to cheap shot heels like this all the time (and no, I’m not comparing Sheamus to either of them). Chris Jericho has been cheap shoting and blindsiding Fandango for months and nobody complains about that.

    I think people just don’t like Sheamus’ character. That’s why they voted for this.

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