Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!
1. WWE acts as if it invented the Fandango’ing craze (NR)
Well, you can’t blame them for trying to spin the subversively hostile crowd from April 8. BONUS: they act like fans doing the wave is a sign of respect.
2. New World Champion Dolph Ziggler puts over boring Jack Swagger (NR)
Typical WWE stubbornness: try to get an unwanted character some rub off of someone who popped the venue with his title win. Well, they clearly know better.
3. WWE officials surprised that WrestleMania 29 buyrate will likely be low (NR)
You mean the Rock/Cena “twice in a lifetime” rematch for the gold, and a HHH/Brock rematch, may have turned some fans off? This is absolutely startling.
4. Smackdown 6-person tag booked after argument over Hornswoggle’s parking spot (NR)
Look at sweet Natalya’s angry expression. Surely, she’s wondering why WWE has to view her as an oddity worth lumping in with the hack cartoon schtick.
5. WWE officials upset that fans booed Maria Menounos at Hall of Fame (NR)
Probably because fans figure that any time a B-list celebrity appears, it’s merely a star-grab from a rather whorish company. People don’t respect whores.
6. Antonio Cesaro yodels (13)
Cesaro was rather effective as a physically superior snob who brutalized his foes. Now he’s a stereotype in WWE’s lazy circus of the underneath guys.
7. TNA’s X-Division Ref Cam (NR)
The “Refer-Eye” camera used by WCW at Halloween Havoc ’91 has been dead and buried for 22 years. Apparently, TNA thinks it’ll help em turn the tide.
8. UFC legend Mark Coleman wants to fight CM Punk for no reason (NR)
“The Hammer” was upset that cameras focused on Punk in the crowd at a recent UFC event instead of him. Sheesh, someone takes things personally.
9. WWE “Total Divas” coming to E! (NR)
I suspect this dignified production will only air four weeks out of the year, given that’s how often Divas get the spotlight on WWE programming these days.
10. Randy Orton and Sheamus are “heroes” for facing Big Show in handicap matches (NR)
If ever proof was needed that WWE can’t book the Viper and Celtic Warrior to be honorable, two straight 2-on-1’s with their enemy testifies nicely.
11. Miz as a babyface (5)
Imagine that; after the Jersey crowd savaged him, “the most must-see star” is omitted from two consecutive Raws. Which begs the inquiry, “Must see by whom?”
12. Rosa Mendes reportedly sent home from European tour for drunkenness (NR)
To be fair, if the only storyline you were given in the past year involved a midget’s parking spot, you’d flip your loaded wine glass over and over too.
13. Tony Dawson (12)
One voter may have nailed it: he’s merely a horrid distraction to make Michael Cole look great by comparison. In other words, a new Mike Adamle.
14. TNA hawks autographed Dixie Carter action figures (3)
“Where’s Dixie”? Hopefully, TNA’s boss learns from Vince McMahon c. 2003-onward: sometimes, it’s a bad thing when the boss makes himself the star.
15. Sheamus vs. Randy Orton from 4/8 Raw (7)
We close this week with one of the most unintentionally awesome matches in modern history, thanks to the crowd commandeering the proceedings.
Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)