WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XII

7 Submitted by on Tue, 09 April 2013, 11:02

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. Diddy performs at WrestleMania (NR)

Well, if your big three matches feature wrestlers who peaked in 1998, may as well get an artist who Jimmy Page allowed to rip off Kashmir that same year.

2. WWE intended to omit Mick Foley’s induction from TV airing of Hall of Fame (NR)

Mick should have let Tori Amos or another celebrity induct him, then there’d have been no problem. Must be hard explaining to USA suits who Terry Funk is.

3. Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (NR)

A molasses-slow Game went over the former UFC Heavyweight Champion, and then hid from the frenetic live crowd on Raw, because he knew he’d look bad.

4. TNA Knockouts reduced to being groped by Joey Ryan (NR)

A cute bit at first, but it ran out of steam by the ninth or tenth act of sleaze. This picture was chosen just for Taryn Terrell’s shapely gams. So there’s that.

5. WWE seeks out soap opera writers over Paul Heyman for creative (4)

If the lifeless, self-congratulatory product received the Jersey Treatment week after week, maybe a true creative shake-up would finally commence.

6. Miz as a babyface (8)

For the twelfth straight week, the people have spoken. And 16,000 of them cheering for Wade Barrett back up that assertion: WWE can’t create babyfaces.

7. 8 person tag omitted from WrestleMania (NR)

I no longer feel bad for any of these folks. After all, they worked the A-Show (Raw), while Rock and Triple H were stuck working the B-Show on Sunday.

8. Ryback vs. Mark Henry (NR)

Slow, slow hoss fight that gave ruthless Ryback his sixth straight PPV loss. In modern WWE fashion, they’re still feuding after wrestling on the grand stage.

9. Brad Maddox (12)

Seen as sporadically as a locust swarm, and with just as much upside, the awkward putz is also infecting the usually splendid NXT with his toxic stain as well.

10. Sabu/PWS incident (NR)

Sabu’s agent allegedly sent him to the ring during a Jushin Liger/John Morrison match to drum up autograph sales. Said agent was then thrown out.

11. Fandango (6)

Most votes were pre-Raw, where he painfully corrected Justin Roberts, and had his theme hummed by 16,000 drunks. Bet this is his last week on here.

12. The Miz vs. Wade Barrett moved to WrestleMania pre-show (NR)

Intercontinental Title, 1989: you’re in line to possibly be World Champion. Intercontinental Title, 2013: you’re going to help us drive downloads of the App.

13. CM Punk dumps the ashes of the urn on Undertaker (NR)

Feels so long ago, but some still voted in this show-ender from Raw. The match at WrestleMania was great, and didn’t need this lame theatricality.

14. Charlie Haas/ROH incident (5)

In the fallout of Haas’ ugly ROH firing is the resignation of the well-liked Grizzly Redwood, who was allegedly the target of much bullying by Haas.

15. Constant shilling of the WWE App (7)

No matter how much Michael Cole espouses its greatness, I’m not downloading it until Tony Dawson is abducted by aliens (space or illegals, whichever).


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
7 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XII"
  1. Phil Melcher says:

    Yeah were was HHH last night?? Foley getting bumped off the USA show was pretty lousy too. USA knows who Foley and Funk are.

  2. Andy says:

    Wonderful point on number 6. Great babyfaces aren’t manufactured, they reveal themselves. See 96 Rocky Maivia vs 97 Stone Cold or 2011 Punk vs John Cena at any time after 2005.

  3. BaltoJim says:

    What’s worse than Mick Foley’s induction almost being omitted from the TV airing of the Hall of Fame inductions? Bob Backlund gets exactly ONE minute on the show, while Donald Friggin’ Trump gets about a half an hour. Mick Foley got an impromptu elbow drop & pin of Chris Jericho. I was praying that Vince McMahon would rush the stage and shave Trump’s head…

  4. Peter says:

    WWE’s problem, and this goes back to Big Daddy Cool Diesel and Shawn Michaels’ title reigns, is that their faces tend to pander to the crowd, and no one likes a kiss ass. It’s like I heard Chris Jericho say once: “To be successful in wrestling you need to be a bit of an asshole.” Well, this is true for both faces and heels.

  5. Falcdango says:

    Yeah, the crowd cheering Barrett had nothing to do with the crowd being 60% (Very) European. Nothing it all.

  6. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Where was Tony Dawson???

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