WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week X

12 Submitted by on Tue, 26 March 2013, 12:09

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. Semi-Active Triple H will retire if he loses at WrestleMania (NR)

Well if “The Game” is gone, that leaves the door open for someone else to get two or three extra matches a year. It’s not exactly a tragedy or anything.

2. WWE hiring new soap opera writers; no plans for Paul Heyman to join creative (NR)

Triple H is doing away with scripts, allegedly, which is a good first step. But hiring Heyman would be hard, given the clashes Paul’s had with his wife years ago.

3. WWE overpromotes its movies (1)

The two-week stranglehold atop the Crappings ends, as WWE scales back its promotional blitz. But GI Joe Retaliation could send this back up the ladder.

4. Miz as a babyface (3)

The “next Ric Flair”  hosts a third-rate Piper’s Pit, forces fans to watch Main Event on mute, and elicits “BORING” chants in Philly. Not a good sign.

5. Fandango (9)

The “Ballroom Brawler” finally got physical this week, assaulting Chris Jericho, but fans who hate three hour Raws anyway have had it with the slow teases.

6. Brad Maddox (14)

For every fan who thinks “awkward = funny”, there’s hordes of others who simply don’t get Maddox’s schtick. He even ruined SMS for RD Reynolds.

7. Jimmy Uso falsely reported to have committed second DUI (NR)

A correction from last week’s rankings, where Jimmy was apparently hauled in on a misunderstanding, and a second DUI was reported. Damn shoddy reporting.

8. Triple H rips Paul Heyman’s clothes (NR)

The big bad COO partially disrobed a man not always reverent to the WWE company line. The real loser: whoever had to do Stephanie’s laundry after this.

9. CM Punk steals Paul Bearer’s symbolic urn (10)

It’s not that the angle is offensive (Bearer’s family signed off on it). It’s that it’s the only basis for a WrestleMania feud with the legendary Undertaker.

10. Hulk Hogan claims he tried to bring Sting to WWE in 1987 (NR)

“Hey Vince, I’ve been watching UWF non-stop, and this guy teaming with Rick Steiner would make a great main event opponent for me.” Yep, that’s how it went.

11. Jack Swagger still not punished for arrest (7)

Looks like WWE’s getting what they want. Swagger’s impaired driving is slowly being forgotten about as the weeks go by. But WrestleCrap never forgets.

12. Many ex-TNA Knockouts turn down One Night Only PPV (NR)

How poorly must these women (Kong and Roxxi among them) have been treated? Kong’s a given, but there’s a good ten others who said ‘screw off’.

13. Pancake Patterson (NR)

The deathly silent crowd reaction to Titus O’Neil’s incredibly random dual personality routine may have made this anomaly a one-time experiment.

14. Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray (7)

You’d think by now, Brooke would just yell the word “divorce” and be done with Bully. I mean, it worked so well for her mother a few years ago, right?

15. Tony Dawson (NR)

Back for more, eh? The “FOR THE WIN” bellower with limited wrestling acumen continues to be the biggest blight on an otherwise entertaining NXT program.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
12 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week X"
  1. Down With OPC says:

    So, in two weeks, how many WrestleMania moments will make the Power Crappings?

  2. Peter Santellan says:

    WWE’s gotten to the point where it’s just unwatchable right now, and it comes at absolutely the worst time. TNA isn’t blowing you away with anything big, but it’s also not severely watered down and there’s a semblance of actual logic in its programming.

  3. Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

    Alright, time for me to make excuses for Pancake…

    1. Laughter doesn’t carry through large arenas as well as venues like comedians use.
    2. If the fans watched WWE Active, they’d have seen “Pancake” Patterson and Leon “Bonecrusher” Baker yukking it up. (an example is shown here http://www.wwe.com/videos/leon-bonecrusher-baker-rufus-pancake-patterson-are-raising-hell-in-an-abandoned-26099156 )
    3. Maybe if Pancake was wearing a fur coat and singing about how he’s gonna pop some tags…

    So, those are my reasons for Pancake not getting a good reaction.

    (also I’m glad Dawson made it again!)

    • CarlMakrsGuy says:

      Just tell me they introduced him on air by saying, “Titus O’Niel is acting funny,” and all of Pretty Ricky’s fans will be in his corner.

  4. Peter says:

    Yeah I never knew how bad Tony Dawson was until I watched a Cesaro vs. Big E match on NXT. I need to vote for him next week.

    I liked Brad Maddox at first, I liked when he was singing Christmas songs on his way to the ring back in December, that’s a good way to draw heat and I thought it was funny. Since he became Vickie’s assistant though they are trying too hard with his character.

  5. Chard Telephone says:

    People take Pancake Patterson seriously?
    I never knew Crapholers voted for this.

  6. Juice211 says:

    Yodeling Antonio Cesaro should make its debut on the list this week…..absolutely horrible!

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