WrestleCrap Power Crappings, Week VIII

12 Submitted by on Fri, 08 March 2013, 14:03

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. WWE overpromotes its movies (NR)

I understand WWE needs to make bank on its films, but no one’s watching Raw for 3 minute matches and a bunch of mashed-together trailers and plugs.

2. Miz as a babyface (9)

Wow, there’s a climb for ya. For the eighth straight week, Miz’s face run is ranked. Think the leap had to do with his shameless Ric Flair pandering?

3. Fandango (15)

Speaking of Evel Knievel leaps up the board, Fandango won’t wrestle if you can’t say his name right. If only Triple H had this complex in his career.

4. Old School Raw feels like regular Raw (NR)

Some legends showed up, Undertaker returned, and we got the old ring. Otherwise, there was nothing particularly special about the ‘special’.

5. Dolph Ziggler can’t win (NR)

That photo to your right is a rare sight these days. Dolph will lose 1000 straight before cashing in to become champ. Then no one will take him seriously.

6. Jim Ross embarrassed again in Oklahoma (NR)

WWE’s coming to the Sooner State? Well, you know what that means: time for a heel to get over at JR’s expense. Surprised Booker didn’t fire him, too.

7. Jack Swagger still not punished for arrest (2)

I kinda wish Glenn Beck HAD showed up, just to point out that the man playing Swagger broke the law, and gets preferential treatment from the company.

8. Donald Trump to enter WWE Hall of Fame (3)

A number of voters are still annoyed that the real estate mogul will be enshrined with the likes of Bruno and Mick. Eh, that’s the wrestling biz for ya.

9. AJ Styles, Son of Anarchy (NR)

“The Phenomenal One” has bottomed out, and now an unhinged degenerate with a motorcycle. Doesn’t he look kinda like Blade Braxton here?

10. Bleacher Report writer exploits Paul Bearer’s death (NR)

Hours after Bearer passed, writer Jack Windham wrote on why he shouldn’t be a kneejerk HOF inductee. Article was taken down, likely due to outrage.

11. Tony Dawson (NR)

WWE’s latest commentary abomination continues to ‘shine’, recently calling a double underhook suplex a ‘backdrop’. And he replaced Jim Ross, don’t ya know?

12. Why did Taz join Aces and Eights again? (NR)

Seriously, he’s the same Taz he’s always been, except with a slight biased lean toward his stable mates. And his turn was a big show-ending reveal!

13. Jack Swagger, Zeb Coulter break character to rip Glenn Beck (6)

Geez, it was two weeks ago, and people are still annoyed over WWE’s grasp at creating a senseless mainstream angle. Old wounds never heal, it seems.

14. The Robbies slowly split (NR)

Robbie E and Robbie T separated so slowly, R. Lee Ermey would compare it to old people, uh, copulating. Have the blow-off match and just end it already.

15. Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray (NR)

Fitting end this week, given how Bully’s due to turn on her soon, revealing he was using her for power and prestige. If they can’t make it as a couple, who can?


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
12 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings, Week VIII"
  1. Ezenwa says:

    He does look like Blade Braxton, does A.J. Styles. LOL.

  2. Mark Cardoso says:

    AJ looks like a stoned Al Snow.

  3. Peter says:

    Why is there so much hate for The Miz as a babyface, is that just a running joke? I’m not the biggest fan of the guy myself, but I do like him more as a face, and he seems to have stepped up the in-ring effort. I’ll take that over heel Miz, who made Randy Orton look like Ricky Steamboat.

    And AJ Styles I want to see wrestle, not sulking at home. He’s not getting any younger and they are just wasting him at home. Put him in a feud with Kenny King for the X title, let him go back to his roots.

    • Justin Henry says:

      Being babyface should not equal “speaking in an obnoxiously loud voice while repeating your catchword ad nauseum, and needing several attempts to get your new (basic) finishing hold correct.”

      He’s Jar Jar Binks in a suit.

      • Peter Santellan says:

        It’s basically his heel character, only now he’s insulting the heels.

      • Peter says:

        eh, i don’t know, i mean like i said he’s not my favorite and i like seeing him getting his ass handed to him by antonio cesaro and brock lesnar, but what did he do to jump from 9 to 2? is it because he beat dolph this past week? that’s wwe’s fault for booking dolph into a chump.

        • 80sGuy says:

          I have to agree with you here. People were whining about heel Miz ad nauseum, so they change it up and people still complain.

          He’s been putting forth more effort and changing people around helps keep things a little more fresh.

          I like Miz, with the exception of his overacting. If his delivery was more natural, he’d be so much better. He tries to hard and forces things, and it shows a bit too much.

  4. AlexanAdru says:

    I agree with most of these as AJ has been wasted for the last few years and, unfortunately he’s not getting younger. Same could be said for Samoa Joe( minus his tag team with Magnus). Tony Dawson is just awful as well.

  5. s1mon86 says:

    so AJ is walking around as a biker guy right? Doesn’t TNA have a faction of biker guys right now?

  6. Lyle says:

    I disagree with even having the Bleacher Report thing nominated, because that’s how the world works. Somebody dies and somebody immediately writes something controversial just to get the attention from outraged individuals who share it around. It happens quite a bit with websites where the writer is paid based on web traffic (though I don’t know if Bleacher Report is like that). Besides, this just gives the writer more attention so people will read it, curious to see what he says, and the result will be that this guy gets more attention (and possibly money).

    • Justin Henry says:

      like I said, the article’s already been pulled, so apparently controversy isn’t always beneficial

  7. Thomas Moffatt says:

    To be fair to Tony Dawson he’s been brought in to make Michael Cole look good – think about it and check the Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards then you can understand why WWE fans have had to endure Jonathan Coleman and Mike Adamle on top of Michael Cole

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