Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!
1. Jerry Lawler shills Sonic restaurant (NR)
Wow, what are the odds that Lawler would get food delivered from a non-delivering restaurant, one that sponsors WWE, and then gladly shill it?
2. Jack Swagger’s DUI arrest doesn’t derail major push (1)
WEED. THE PEOPLE. And it continues, in spite of a very ugly black eye for the company. This forceful continuation included 3 segments on Raw!
3. Donald Trump to WWE HOF (NR)
Guess the voters don’t much care for the “celebrity wing”. Trump proved to be a WrestleMania draw, but it doesn’t mean the constituency has to like em.
4. The Rock spoils WrestleMania (NR)
What’s that, Rocky? You’re not going to be at Extreme Rules? Well, that kinda narrows down the list of possible match outcomes, doesn’t it?
5. WWE jobs viable talents in pointless 3 minute matches (NR)
Remember when the program was called Raw SuperShow? If they wish to be so theatrical, why not just call it Holding Pattern Theatre?
6. Jack Swagger, Zeb Coulter break character to trash Glenn Beck (NR)
Oh no; the polarizing conservative pundit insulted our show, so we have to lash back, while our casual fans couldn’t care either way! ‘MURICA!
7. TNA pulls bait-and-switch with possible Hulk Hogan match (NR)
Sure, the Hulkster’s bump card is full these days, but it’s not nice to tell your British fans he’s going to wrestle, and then renege via sneak attack.
8. HHH is as cool as Miles Davis (NR)
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE STAIN, AND HOW YOU SPRAY IT. LACK BLADDER CONTROL, AND MY BODY CAN’T TAKE IT. Is that Keanu in the white shirt?
9. Miz as a babyface (4)
Seven weeks, seven appearances for Miz in his hastily-done face turn. Sadly, for all he’s been forced on us, he was putting over Puff Puff Jack clean.
10. Saturday Morning Slam to get a GM (NR)
The show where wrestlers barely make CONTACT needs a general manager. You’d think The Deal would know Crap before he steps in it with both feet.
11. Team Hell No keeps Jumping the Shark (NR)
Wacky ideas on a weekly basis have diluted the appeal of the tag champs. And you guys thought losing in 18 seconds benefited Bryan.
12. WWE/TNA get in on Harlem Shake craze (11)
So WWE wants to break the record for “World’s Largest Harlem Shake” with the fans at WrestleMania. Looks like I can stop going to StubHub….
13. Hulk Hogan publicly states Jeff Hardy shouldn’t be TNA Champion (NR)
Hogan thinks the England tour needed a champion. I agree. Hogan thinks Hardy should have dropped to belt to Robert Roode. Bet Hardy felt great to hear that.
14. Brad Maddox as Vickie Guerrero’s assistant (9)
Oooh, Vickie’s mad at James Roday Jr stealing her thunder! I can’t wait to (not want to pay to see) the blowoff fight between these two!
15. Fandango (12)
The debut of the Ballroom Baron is upon us, and now WrestleCrap voters can judge him on something else besides his minimalist vignettes.
Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)