Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!
1. IOC contemplates cutting wrestling (Last Week: Not Ranked)
Well, WrestleCrap does have “wrestle” in its name. The fact that one of the world’s oldest sports may be excised has angered many, namely Kurt Angle.
2. Zeb Coulter (Last Week: Not Ranked)
To be fair, Jack Swagger did need something fresh. And what better than grizzled veteran Dutch Mantell spewing xenophobic rhetoric on his behalf?
3. Tammy Sytch cut off from rehab after making continued poor choices (Last Week: Not Ranked)
It also doesn’t help that Sytch complained about the quality of her most recent hosting facility. Shouldn’t have bitten the helping hand.
4. The Rock’s stolen car story (Last Week: Not Ranked)
Not as bad as Cena’s XBox Live rant, but just as unfocused and pointless. At least threaten to sodomize Punk with a weapon in your old promos!
5. The Miz as a babyface (Last Week: 3)
Face it, Face Miz is never getting off these rankings. Antonio Cesaro swinging him into the rail was a subconscious face turn for Swiss Mister.
6. The Khali-Hornswoggle-Natalya Trifecta From Hell (Last Week: Not Ranked)
Speaking of inadvertent face turns, Mark Henry nearly became Hulk Hogan c. 1984 when he Beaverized Hornswoggle on Monday. ONE MORE TIME.
7. Alberto Del Rio dumps paint on Big Show (Last Week: Not Ranked)
Oh, that darn Del Rio. Showing he’s a champion of the people by pulling wacky pranks on his foe. Maybe the blowoff will be a hogpen match?
8. Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray (Last Week: 9)
I do like the angle that’s being implied (Bully’s using Brooke to get glory a la HHH), but anything that puts Brooke on TV kinda isn’t worth it.
9. Fandango (Last Week: 8)
Now we have a special pronunciation: Fon-Don-Go. You think a certain movie ticket distributor threatened legal action?
10. CM Punk and Kurt Angle argue over The Pope (Last Week: Not Ranked)
Just what we need: one main eventer ripping Benedict XVI’s Hitler Youth ties, and another to piss back at him. Was any of this really necessary?
11. WWE App crashes hours after WWE mocks Super Bowl blackout (Last Week: 1)
Some karmic irony is so delicious, it gets votes 10 days after the story was last relevant. Sometimes egg on one’s face doesn’t wash so easily.
12. Rey Mysterio’s surgeon facing revocation for negligence (Last Week: Not Ranked)
Dr. David Chao is in hot water. Several San Diego Chargers players have sued him, and it’s possible his carelessness may extend to the wrestling star.
13. Dancin’ Tensai (Last Week: 5)
At least we may get a decent big-man team out of he and Brodus Clay. But regardless, the cartoony cliche of a hardened warrior getting funky is a tad too silly.
14. Rhodes Scholars split (Last Week: 7)
When you’re having a “reunion tour” less than a week after your team amicably splits, it means you didn’t plan your house show schedule too well.
15. Kofi Kingston looks like a fool (Last Week: Not Ranked)
Wade Barrett gets brutalized by Bo Dallas backstage, and a weakened Barrett still finishes off Kofi quickly. Good for Wade, not so much for The Boom Man.
Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)