WrestleCrap Power Crappings, Week IX

9 Submitted by on Tue, 19 March 2013, 12:00

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. WWE overpromotes its movies (1)

Our first ever repeat number 1! After The Call did well at the box office, and with GI Joe with The Rock coming out soon, we may yet see a threepeat.

2. Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler bury the Highlight Reel (NR)

It was worth mocking, but the obnoxiously forced way that the derpy duo (at Vince’s command) trashed it is a disservice to the performers. And our ears.

3. Miz as a babyface (2)

Nine weeks and counting! Miz was, of course, a victim of the Highlight Reel segment, and it seems that Our Loyal Crappers just flat out don’t like ’em.

4. Bruce Prichard lets Bobby Roode’s contract lapse (NR)

TNA nearly lost one of its most effective organic talents, due to Brother Love’s ineptitude. Inspector Clouseau would be a better human resources boss.

5. Jimmy Uso arrested for second DUI (NR)

I don’t think Jimmy will get in any trouble. WWE doesn’t take people out of main events for driv–wait, he’s NOT a main eventer? Oh dear….

6. Yup, THAT Highlight Reel (NR)

The worst train wreck since the Angola Horror saw Jericho, Barrett, Miz, and Maddox attempting to stay afloat on a cheap movie-plug premise.

7. Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray (15)

Not sure why this got votes; the couple has split. Maybe Brooke’s overacting to Bully’s swerve reveal inspired the pollsters to choose it?

8. Halle Berry’s Raw cameo (NR)

Apparently, The Call is an effective and chilling thriller. But a slowly dying Raw could’ve certainly done without Halle, Otunga, and Kane’s chit-chatting.

9. Fandango (3)

Not-so-odd prediction: Vince kills Fandango off out of spite when he sees the ratings Dancing with the Stars pulls in. Gotta let the numbers breathe.

10. CM Punk steals Paul Bearer’s urn (NR)

It’s not so tasteless when you figure Mr. Moody would appreciate the “tribute.” Maybe some Crappers are just having “Eddie’s in Hell” flashbacks from 2006.

11. WWE heavily edits WrestleMania XV re-release (NR)

For some reason, instances of strangulation (chokeholds, Bossman being hung) are edited out of this show and this show alone. Weird.

12. Jack Swagger not punished for arrest (7)

The reign of forced Patriotism continues, as Swagger defeats Chris Jericho on Smackdown. I look forward to Jimmy Uso beating Y2J as well.

13. Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez’s We the People parody (NR)

What’s worse: Ricardo approaching Hornswoggle levels of being an irritating (read: lovable) mascot, or the champ looking like Swayze in Point Break?

14. Brad Maddox (NR)

The man with the “awkward charisma”, and Vickie’s assistant for some reason, was the fuse that helped blow up the unsaveable Highlight Reel segment.

15. Todd Keneley (NR)

Take Matt Striker’s nasally voice, give the man a goatee, have him say “damn” and “hell” a lot, and make him the primary voice of TNA.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
9 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings, Week IX"
  1. Alan says:

    Hard to argue with this list. The editing of WM XV is baffling. Good thing I have the original PPV broadcast on VHS. The Miz as a babyface is the least of WWE’s problems right now. Fandango, Brad Maddox(who was inconspicuous by his abscence on Raw last night), and that horrid Highlight Reel all are future Wrestlecrap inductees, and I predict will be in the running for The Gooker.

  2. Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

    Take out Halle Berry’s cameo (I thought it was hilarious…) and replace it with Tony Dawson and this list will go FOR THE WIN!

  3. Trench Reynolds says:

    I used to not like Bobby Roo as a performer until they teamed him up with Austin Aries. The Dirty Heels are the reason I watch TNA.

    Dirty Heels > Team Hell No. Yeah, I said it.

    • ADaMCEL says:

      The Dirty Heels? What kind of name is that? Worse than Team Hell-No, for sure

      Using the “Team” stuff ironically, I prefer to name them “TEAM No-HAT” (as “No-Honor Among Thieves”)

      So… what about a feud/faction of Team No-HAT and Bad Influence? SO MUCH WIN THERE!

  4. Down With OPC says:

    Maybe WWE wants you to buy the Attitude Era DVD.

  5. Combsy says:

    I really don’t understand the WMXV Editing. They just showe it on WWE Classics on Demand a couple months ago un-edited, Bossman hanging and all.

  6. Paul R. from SpookCentral.tk says:

    Regarding the Wrestlemania XV DVD editing – I didn’t know that WWE rereleased those earlier Wrestlemanias on new DVDs. Maybe they should have advertised them on their TV shows instead of overhyping their movies.

    After reading this, I’m glad I have the original DVD from 1999. That was actually the very first DVD WWF ever released!

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