WrestleCrap Power Crappings, Week IV

9 Submitted by on Fri, 08 February 2013, 12:44

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. WWE’s Mobile App crashes hours after mocking NFL for Super Bowl outage (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Watching WWE have their smug sense of superiority burst is always chuckleworthy. Until your App proves to be perfectly sturdy, quit yer yappin’.

2. Garett Bischoff, Wes Brisco revealed as Aces & Eights members (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Yay, it’s Uncle Eric’s unimpressive kid, and Stooge Jerry’s needlessly tatted offspring. Even Stevie Ray made a bigger splash joining nWo Hollywood.

3. The Miz as a babyface (Last Week: 4)

Miz didn’t even really do much to warrant a climb, but hey: it’s the only story to be ranked all four weeks so far. Gooker consideration, anyone?

4. WWE doesn’t acknowledge Zack Ryder’s ‘Hoeski’ video on TV (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Over 200,000 hits on YouTube in three weeks (just for the original upload), and WWE again fails to cash in on perhaps their most enthusiastic employee.

5. Dancin’ Tensai (Last Week: 1)

Big mean, nasty villain shows he has a silly side, and plays it up to absurd comedic lengths? That’s NEVER happened before!

6. TNA Gut Check suspended for retooling (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Are you an independent wrestler? Do you own a pair of tights? Chances are, you were tied for the lead in TNA’s survey at one point.

7. The Rhodes Scholars amicably split (Last Week: Not Ranked)

While both men are capable of great singles careers, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow helped rejuvenate a lagging division, and may have been separated too soon.

8. Fandango (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Oh come on, he hasn’t even debuted yet! Give him a chance to be unspeakably awful before flinging Crap at the mirror ball wonder!

9. Brooke and Bully Ray (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Poor Bully. He gets over with nothing short of his best efforts, and Hulk recognizes that, so his maturated sperm is latched (leeched?) upon him.


10. Bo Dallas’ insert promo from Raw (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Dallas won’t have a career in infomercials if he can’t read ham-fisted lines off the teleprompter. But at least he has his dad’s wooden delivery.

11. Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett…..again (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Fans were so happy to see the Viper and the Bare Knuckle Brawler face off again, that 700,000 of them switched away from Raw Monday night when they battled.

12. Big Show and Alberto Del Rio brawl in a hotel (Last Week: Not Ranked)

Well, we can’t have the Attitude Era back, but we can try to recreate the hidden-camera, outside-the-arena scuffles. Minus blood and language, of course!

13. Tony Dawson (Last Week: 12)

If I may paraphrase William Regal, if you don’t know what a side headlock is, you probably shouldn’t be sitting in the announcer’s chair.

14. National Pro Wrestling Day/CZW conflict (Last Week: Not Ranked)

The story itself is disputed by many parties, but the fact remains: a day meant to expose many bright young workers needs no controversy.

15. TNA releases Rosita

Pint-sized but delectable, TNA couldn’t find use for this lovely Latina lass. Which means most of you reading this have more ideas than TNA.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
9 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings, Week IV"
  1. s1mon86 says:

    I love how they mocked the NFL, then their thing crashes and they try to make it a good thing

  2. Superstarl says:

    Can anyone enlighten me on the CZW/National Pro Wrestling Day conflict? It looks like the go to source was taken down and I can’t find anything legit on it. 🙁

    • John Rike says:

      Apparently CZW tried to cause a ruckus after allegedly not being invited to NPW Day. Considering CZW follows the same formula as other ‘extreme violence’ wrestling promotions of the past (ECW and XPW), I can’t imagine anyone with a brain cell that would want that promotion involved with anything.

  3. Batman666 says:

    Did anybody else read the Rhodes Scholars’ text with Damien Sandow’s voice in their head?

  4. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Dancing Tensai for me closely followed by Tony Dawson – how long was he calling the NXT bouts without actually using a name for a move? I think All Things Hornswoggle should be added as Hornwoggle IS the biggest piece of crap in wrestling history…

  5. Matt McGovern says:

    Rosita should have been pushed to a Knockouts title shot. I seriously think that if TNA doesn’t turn Gut Check into a twice-a-year thing, fans will stop caring and they will end up with more people on the roster then anybody knows what to do with.

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