Curtain Jerker 3/13/13: The Lowlight Reel

5 Submitted by on Wed, 13 March 2013, 07:00

Sorry, keep forgetting to do these. Damn other thoughts….

But anyway, let’s chatter about that abomination from Monday, where Brad Maddox, Chris Jericho, The Miz, and Wade Barrett had a wholly godawful talking segment, spurred by four issues.

-It was nothing more than a bit of business to promote 2 in-house movies (one of which made $5.4M its opening weekend on a $30M budget).

-Brad Maddox’s awkward talking style, mixed with him hardly being used as a heel character, went over flatly with the crowd.

-Cole and Lawler buried it excessively and with no subtlety.

-Cole and Lawler’s burial came off as forced, obnoxious, and repugnant, since they were under Vince’s command to kill it off.

Thinking about it, I have to say the ones who should be falling on their sword should be Vince and creative. John Morrison comes to mind here: in YouTube videos and other projects, he comes off as an effective and confident talker, but when handed a WWE script, he’s more wooden than the Santa Maria.

Same thing goes with the likes of Miz, who comes off as likable and charming on talk shows (Really? Really), but in WWE’s confines, he just sounds obnoxious and stilted. Barrett may be worse in this regard, and Maddox’s style doesn’t jive with reading things word for word.

Shouldn’t the creative staff take the heat for this instead of Maddox, who sites are claiming is being scapegoated for dropping the ball? Or better still, shouldn’t WWE look at themselves in the mirror and ask: why are we risking the credibility of our performers with transparent movie plugs (excessively presented, might I add), asking them to make the shilling come off as a natural extension of our storylines, when inexperienced talkers like Maddox and Barrett are likely going to bomb out there.

Having Cole and Lawler call attention to the horridness of it only magnifies the problem. When they’re telling the audience that Barrett and Maddox and whoever are droning on and not hitting the target, what good does that do? Cole and Lawler, speaking via Vince, are telling us, “You’re an idiot if you’re enjoying this.” Aren’t the commentators supposed to calmly and deftly salvage the burning wreckage?

What say you? What did you take from the Highlight Reel segment on Monday?

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook ( and Twitter (
5 Responses to "Curtain Jerker 3/13/13: The Lowlight Reel"
  1. patricko says:

    Having been a fan of wrestling for as long as I have, I’ve watched terrible matches and segments from numerous wrestling federations, on numerous TV networks.

    I still am not comfortable or a fan of the announce team shitting on what we’re watching.
    It’s their job to enhance what’s going on in the ring, be it a match or a crappy talk segment.

    Lawler and Cole have been particularly bad lately. Not sure Jerry’s 100% sharp after his heart attack, so he’s a bit awkward even when NOT being ordered to crap on something.
    Stuff like the other night, and overlong unfunny plugs for fast food really detract from the overall product.

    all 4 of the “boys” involved deserved better.

  2. The Gold Standard says:

    I picked it up right away that there was going to be major problems…Chris Jericho mentioned that his Jeritron 6000 was conveniently gone during the commerical/review of whatever movie they were showing. That kind of told me there was going to be an issue with the entire segment…which was accurate. I really think Vince should get out of the Gorilla and let the commentary team do their job…if they fail, they should pay the consequences.

    Also, let the people talk alittle more naturally. Nobody said wrestlers were scripted actors…they’re improv actors. Again, if they go way over time or way off point, they should pay the price. That price should not be caused by horrible writing

  3. Joseph S. Hasan says:

    Still better than King’s misogynistic comments (i.e. AJ should be called “Target”, because everyone’s had a shot at her).

  4. Justin Ballard says:

    It’s so far beyond time for Vince to step down as he is horribly out of touch with his fanbase and probably suffering from some form of dementia. Between constantly changing his mind, placing undeserved blame when things go horribly wrong, and calling attention to bad segments, he really has no business being in charge anymore.

  5. Bone White says:

    Keeping things simple is usually the best in most things – seems its all a bit over-complicated to me

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