Classic Induction: Gary Spivey: Here “ESP” Means “Extra Sucking Power”

4 Submitted by on Sat, 19 January 2013, 22:58

WCW, Mid 90’s

As you might expect, what with his induction into the WWE Hall of Fame this weekend, Paul Orndorff was one of the biggest stars in all of pro wrestling for much of the 80’s. The self professed “Mr. Wonderful” did incredible business in 1986 when he turned his back on Hulk Hogan in one of the greatest angles of all time. (So great, in fact, that when a girl would dump me or one of my buddies, we would say we got “Orndorffed”.) He headlined huge shows, including the “Big Event” in Toronto against Hogan, which drew around 70,000 fans.

The 1990’s weren’t quite as kind to Orndorff; after leaving the business for several years to run a bowling alley, he came back to WCW for one last run. Things weren’t going well, though, as he found himself floundering in the midcard. He didn’t think things could possibly get worse than teaming with Paul Roma as Pretty Wonderful, but they did.

So who did Orndorff turn to? If you guessed the Psychic Companion’s Network, you’d be correct!


Let’s backtrack a little bit. Mr. Wonderful had just had a pretty decent match with Randy Savage, but he came out on the short end of the stick.

He began to question his abilities, and wondered if he even deserved to be called Mr. Wonderful anymore…

Just as Orndorff was at his lowest point, his prayers were answered in the form of a pudgy man with a GIANT SOS PAD ON HIS HEAD.

Hey, don’t ask me – I just report the crap.

Viewers at home probably had no idea who this was…

…but Orndorff sure did, and was delighted to see him. It was Gary Spivey, from the Psychic Companions’ Network! He explained to Orndorff that he sensed something was wrong with Mr. Wonderful.

He knew this because, you know, HE WAS A PSYCHIC.

Spivey and Orndorff sat down and had a heart to heart talk about his problems.

The Man with a Chia Pet for Hair told Orndorff to look in the mirror, and say, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.”

Oops, wrong show.

Actually, he convinced Paul that he was indeed worthy of being called Mr. Wonderful. 

After staring in the mirror for a while and reciting his mantra, Orndorff believed in himself again.

Spivey, content with a job well done, departed, never to be seen again.

Orndorff was so inspired by Spivey’s visit that he retired mere weeks afterwards. (But not before getting one of the five greatest theme songs in the history of wrestling.).


While Orndorff retired, Spivey kept busy with his psychic endeavors. In fact, he is still visible to his legion of fans at his website, Not only does Gary offer psychic readings over the phone, he also offers fabulous items in his gift shop, including…


Mouse Pads!

…and, of course, thongs!


 Yes, a Gary Spivey thong.

Suddenly, those old RD Reynolds thongs we sold years back don’t look so bad!.

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4 Responses to "Classic Induction: Gary Spivey: Here “ESP” Means “Extra Sucking Power”"
  1. Abe Wallard says:

    A wrestler who was big in the 80s receives pep talks from a man that epitomizes the 70s in a90s wrestling show that ended in the 00s. Boy, that’s one hell of a train.

  2. Sean Bateman says:

    what a wonderful pile of wrestlecrap

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