INDUCTION: The Crush Vignettes – Apparently Being a Neon Creep Walking Around a Junkyard Made You A Good Guy in the WWF of 1992

35 Submitted by on Thu, 18 April 2019, 20:00

WWE, 1992

This induction is going to tell you absolutely everything the WWF told us about Crush when he debuted for the company in 1992.

He liked to crush things.

Thanks so much for reading another WrestleCrap induction! We hope you enjoyed it and urge you to donate to our Patreon by clicking here.

Wait, inductions can’t be that short? Well what else am I supposed to say? That’s all this stupid company told us about the guy for literally a year straight!

Alright, alright, I tell you what. I will do one better by doing a deep dive on the introductory vignettes we were given prior to his “arrival.” I put that term in quotes, because the poor guy had been in the company for quite some time before he was given a makeover.

You may recall him as the third member of Demolition.

You know, when he was Crush.

That’s right – this company decided to give him a makeover, but apparently that makeover couldn’t include something like a NEW NAME. He was Crush when he was wearing makeup and spikes, and he was Crush when he showed up in this ridiculous ensemble:

Only now he was a good guy.

A good guy who apparently liked to spray paint innocent cinder block walls with neon colors bearing his name.

But more than anything, he liked to CRUSH things. And he did that ever since he was a little boy, as we learned through a series of absurdly awful vignettes…

…complete with HOME MOVIES.

I know he says he likes to CRUSH things (and trust me, if he hasn’t gotten that into your skull yet, he will), and yeah, he squished that can, but his crappy Lincoln Log farm was right there and he left it standing.

Shouldn’t he have demolished that too?

Oh right, he wasn’t DEMOLITION Crush anymore. My bad.

But if you thought we were getting just one filmstrip of L’il Crush, no no no. We got weeks of them, always with Crush waxing philosophical about his upbringing. Usually while sitting on any old pile of garbage that just happens to be lying around.

Here we see Crush being told he needs to put on his napkin prior to dinner, and that he needs to pour himself a giant glass of milk so he’ll grow up big and strong. Of course he slops it all over the place due to his desire to, yes, you guessed it, CRUSH things.

I’d question why he wasn’t properly taught how to pour liquids into a glass, but since Mama Crush felt that dinner should consist primarily go a mountain of cookies, I’m guessing he didn’t have the best role models.

I should also note that while this videos were horrible to watch, listening to Brian Adams attempt narrate them may have been even worse. His “ha ha ha” after every dumb thing he said.

Strap yourselves in, folks – this is 100% Grade A WrestleCrap, and we are just getting started.

Now let’s follow the big guy to the junkyard, which somehow reminds him of playing baseball as a child. I don’t know either, but that’s what the guy said. Which you can listen to by clicking here.

Of course since he’s so mighty, he pops the baseball as if it were made of paper mâché. Which I am quite certain it was.

Then he smiles and winks at us.

Sorry, that is just disturbing.

I see that and I think I need to call the authorities. I’m not even sure why, or who, but it certainly feels like something I am legally bound to do.

Perhaps even more so as the guy just continually wanders around the garbage lot and talking about eating guys.

Dude (or dudette), THAT IS WHAT HE SAID.

Don’t blame me. I’m just reporting the facts.

Then this weirdo doesn’t leave the junkyard for like weeks on end. Instead, he hangs out there, licks his thumb before pressing on a filthy machine, winks at us again while giving us a locomotion yes movement, all before laughing uproariously as a car that was already flattened gets like an 1’8″ shorter.

This total creep then looks up to the heavens, seemingly thanking God for the ability to destroy unwanted vehicles while walking around in his ridiculous neon colored spandex getup.

Watching all this again after all these years…well, suddenly Kronik makes a whole lot more sense.

Ok NOW I will go into my ending spiel! We hope you enjoyed this induction here at, and yeah, we do urge you to check out our Patreon. For just a couple bucks a month, you can get exclusive inductions (like this week’s completely new re-induction of IRS, which you can access here!) and RD & Blade Shows that the regular folk cannot access. Plus it helps keep a site alive that’s been doing it’s best to make you laugh for nearly two decades. Thanks!

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Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
35 Responses to "INDUCTION: The Crush Vignettes – Apparently Being a Neon Creep Walking Around a Junkyard Made You A Good Guy in the WWF of 1992"
  1. #OPC says:

    To think MegaDeth made a song about Crush…

    • Autrach Sejanoz says:

      And to think that song ended up being used as entrance music for Goldberg…

      • Jimbolian says:

        And to bring it full circle, KroniK Crush was the one along with Bryan Clarke to face Goldberg in his last match with DeWayne Bruce (WHO I might add so badly needs to get inducted. Did Evad Sullivan come up with his name?)

  2. Christopher Haydu says:

    I was eight years old when Crush debuted and I thought he was awesome. I have no memory, though, of these vignettes. They seemed to emphasize the construction/garbage dump aspect of crushing things as opposed to the name “Crush” being a reference to how strong Bryan Adams is. It’s kind of like how WrestleCrap describes Ludvig Borga as an evil Finnish environmentalist, even though there was no reference to the environment of any country beyond his vignettes. I must say, though, if Crush’s true gimmick was that he was a laborer in a construction yard who crushed things, he should’ve been paired with Duke the Dumpster Droese when he finally arrived. They could’ve been a tag team!

    Anyway, good induction. The only other insight I can add is that, in the promos to build up Crush’s match with Doing at WrestleMania IX, Crush claims that his grandfather was a clown who could make children laugh. With that knowledge, taken with these vignettes, I think if they’d done a “This is Your Life” angle with Crush, it would have been absolutely hilarious. Makes me miss nineties WWF all the more. R.I.P. Crush.

    • Professor Jeff says:

      Doing is the best wrestler name I’ve ever heard.

      Thank you.

    • Jason says:

      I remember the one with the milk, and I don’t think it was so much a desire to crush it was just something that happened to him and he was going to put it to use

  3. Raging_Demons says:

    Apparently as a young kid Crush (and I’m paraphrasing “Airplane” here) developed a drinking problem.

  4. Sean Bateman says:

    RD brah, makin’ the ‘crappers cry brah!

  5. C Boz says:

    I remember these vignettes, and being so out of it that at first I didn’t realize neon Crush was the same guy as Demolition Crush. I ‘smartened’ up and later on did realize that Kona Crush was, well, Crush.

    Then again, I didn’t realize that the bass player for Wings was the same guy that was in the Beatles. Actually I did. Got to give myself some credit.

    Now who was the Black Scorpion again?

  6. Larry says:

    Too bad his outfit wasn’t orange. That would’ve been a goldmine.

  7. Alfonzo Tyson says:

    I DO remember these vignetes…just not his wrestling gear being that horrific! I knew that this should have been inducted a long time ago but some people were unconvinced. Hope they are now!

    Speaking of early 90s crap, let’s get that horrible, manipulative “Get Well, Hulk Hogan” angle with Earthquake when every single jobbers and face in the WWF were wearing those Hulk Hogan friendship bracelets while he was out “injured” (He was taking time off because his wife was having a kid. Steamboat couldn’t, but Hulkster could!)

  8. Gx says:

    The best Crush segment had to be the Macho-Man / Crush summit. lol

  9. D-Unit says:

    I can’t believe you left out how halfway through the vignettes they had him start doing a horrible “Hawaiian” accent

  10. John C says:

    Good thing his parents didn’t name him Dick, who knows what stunts he would have pulled off then.

  11. Kareem Ofweet says:

    More of those early 90’s crrraaaaaaaazy neon color combinations.

  12. Mav says:

    This is absolutely when I had lost interest in the WWF. Calling out The Mountie, Repo Man and Skinner!? A real murderer’s row there.

    • C Boz says:

      Whoa! Don’t disrespect Repo Man. Barry really sold that character to the max.

      And no matter what anyone says, The Mountie’s theme song is an absolute ear-worm. I wish I was handsome… and brave… and strong.

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        The Mountie should never, repeat NEVER, be considered as Wrestlecrap – another great example of a character who could easily have been Wrestlecrap but wasn’t.

        Constable Corbyn on the other hand is a shoe-in…

        • Guest says:

          Except Corbin’s problem is the way he’s booked the Mountie on the other hand was a stupid gimmick that WWE nearly got sued over.

  13. Bubbafan2 says:

    Back when I was young enough to still think wrestling might be real, even then I thought Crush’s backbreaker looked like dogshit. Despite that, I actually liked this iteration of Crush. It was fun to play as him in the SNES Royal Rumble game. Plus his entrance music kicked all kinds of ass.

  14. Acolyte Of Glorious La Parka~ says:

    His MAMA called him Crush?

  15. Another Dave says:

    I have to admit, I always admired that fantastic mullet. It’d make Billy Ray Cyrus proud.

  16. Captain Obvious says:

    To think that 7 years later this would be the inspiration for those Beaver Cleavage vignettes.

  17. Erich says:

    “I like to ruin nice things. Cheer for me!”

  18. Dave says:

    That shot of the kid’s face lighting up at the plate of cookies but then scowling when he was told to wear a napkin need to be the GIF of the Week, like, yesterday.

  19. Guest says:

    “I should also note that while this videos were horrible to watch, listening to Brian Adams attempt narrate them may have been even worse”.

    I should note the incorrect use of grammar in this sentence :S

  20. Sepp says:

    I became a WWF-fan in 1994 when he was a heel and I always liked him. I think he was a good performer inside the ring. He had some pretty good skills for a guy his size. But maybe his mic-skills weren’t enough – or he just got crappy story lines.

  21. Johnny FountainS says:

    I loved Crush as a face. I also loved Crush as a heel. I didn’t know about Demolition Crush until 1999. Crush got me into wraslin in 1992. In 1994 Owen Hart Warranted me watching wraslin. I quit watching wraslin in wm 20 then again in wm 30.

  22. Ray Currie says:

    There was some kind of irony.. in the godawful 1993 Superstars album, Kona Crush tells the listener to “do Crush a favor and stay away from drugs”. When he returned in 1996/1997 iirc he had been briefly arrested for weapons and drug trafficking but the charges were dropped and he was on probation perhaps. Talk about not practicing what he preached.

    Another ridiculous moment was when he came back as a heel and turned on Macho Man blaming him for not helping him after he had been injured by Yokozuna. The goofy WWF magazine at the time made a dumb comparison to Wile E Coyote and Road Runner cartoons where the hungry coyote was desperate to catch “the speedy terrestrial cuckoo”.

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