Crapper Gene Marsh (who is not mean, so far as I am aware) writes:
I don’t know if you guys have featured this before, but some recently found a menu from the grand opening of Hulk Hogan’s Pastamania!
Oh wow!
We’ve covered the Grand Opening of Hulk Hogan’s Pastamania before.
Let’s take a look inside and take a gander at the menu, shall we?
You know Crappers; there is nothing I love more than good quality Italian pasta in a freshly-made delicious sauce…
And I’m guessing this stuff was very much not that…
Apparently all the pasta was about as good as Chef Boyardee canned pasta. I’m guessing it was all microwaved and the sauces were pre-made.
I’m not surprised it only lasted a few months.
Hulk seems to have not learned his lesson from this business venture…
Did any of you Crappers get to eat at Pastamania? Share your experience in the comments below!
There were no Hulkaroos or Hulk U’s anywhere on that menu. The hell?
Good catch! I guess Hulk made those up in that promo? Hmm.
hey Hogan, ‘Hulk You’
It’s a shame this place closed down before Kitchen Nightmares came along. Oh how I would’ve loved to see Gordon Ramsay cut a promo on Hulk Hogan.
R.D calls dibs on the piping hot delicious Side Bread!
Hulkaroni and Cheese
HULKARAONI AND CHEESE. Life no longer need exist. I’ve seen everything.
I bet Kraft Macaroni And Cheese is still 100x better.
(checks kitchen cabinets) My full shelf of random Kraft Mac and Cheese agrees. Mac and Cheese is kind of like Pizza, even the worst is still decent, but nobody f*cks with the Kraft. 😛
Always loved Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese! Great stuff. Try adding a pack of pan-fried ground beef. Yum!
Yeah, buddy…
That’s comfort food right there.
Naw, there’s definitely some AWFUL mac & cheese out there. The store bought stuff is just really consistently decent or better. Homemade lacks the consistency, but has a MUCH higher quality ceiling (and lower quality floor).
Not gonna lie, but I’d eat there. Love those Hulk shaped pieces of pasta. Then again, I like most shaped pastas.
Didn’t make it there, but I did make it to the NITRO GRILL. Even have a shot glass to prove it!
I still use my WWF New York pint glass as a change jar.
The photos here should be part of the color spread in the Death of WCW anniversary book!
I cannot be the only one who wants to scream out PASTAMANIA in every conversation I have….can I? That was by far the most entertaining promo since Warrior’s plane hijacking one! Simply loved it!
I’ll take the pasta nuggets with white clam sauce.
You can also get some pasta, with a side pasta and some pasta salad.
Sid Vicious is pleased to announce the opening of his new bar & grill, Scissors & Squeegess where he’ll make you his specialty cocktail, a Mudslide.
I would SO go to a place where Sid would be my waiter. That would be amazing.
I can hear it now… “alright, and with tax, your bill will be TWENTY-TWO!?!?!? dollars. Cash or credit?”
Just don’t stare at the awkward brown stains on him.
These days that could mean your average Olive Garden.
Olive Garden? Oh ick! ‘d rather eat my shoe.
I didn’t being stabbed with scissors is considered awesome in certain cultures.
I wonder if the sauces were stirred with the Thunder Mixer(TM).
Oooh, excellent question. I actually think that if you tried to mix tomato sauce in the Thunder Mixer, it would break the thing.
This is utterly hilarious. I would have eaten there once just to be able to say that I had.
Had the Fingerpoke of Doom taken place at Pastamania, it would have been referred to as, “The Spaghetti Incident?”
I would like, upvote, and share this if I could.
Really now?
I went and ate at Hogans Beach last week when I was in Tampa. It was the best meal I had on the trip seems the Hulkster learned from serving glorified Spaghetti Os.
I have no artistic skill at all, and even I could have designed a better-looking menu than that.
Yeah, it isn’t very attractive or well organized.
I was there on opening day. The line was looooong.
Linda (with young Nick & Brooke in tow) were a couple spots ahead of me in line.
I think I had shells in clam sauce w/chicken for $5.75. If I had ordered 10 helpings at $57.50 it still wouldn’t have filled me up the portions were so small.
Also it was cold. Not just lukewarm, but cold.
Surprised I didn’t get food poisoning from it.
WOW that sounds HORRIBLE. No wonder they failed.
“Angel Hair” sounds like nickname for Thunderlips.
“Add meatball, $1.25″… is this just bad grammar or were they charging $1.25 per meatball?
If it’s a small portion of spaghetti, they could give just one big meatball. I’ve seen that done in some places.
Knowing how Hulk works, you’re probably right, which is a shame- I was kinding hoping for Mr Fuji yelling “ADD MEATBALL, ONE TWENTY-FIVE!”
Yeah, but a lot of place have like a HUGE meatball that’s all you’d need anyway.
However, the prices at this place were unjustifiably high as it was, so it wouldn’t surprise me if it really was a buck twenty five for each freaking meatball.
The meatballs would be in place had the angel hair been named for Thunderlips, as suggested above.
When indigestion comes crashing down and it hurts inside … you gotta take a dump, and it’s gonna slide … well, if you’ve eaten here, you’d have rather died … the food would probably make Baby Jesus cry … Pastamania will kill a man … cheap crappy food right from a can … Pastamania will kill a man … try to eat right, and run for your life!
Ha!! Nicely done. 🙂
“I only hope my bowels will prove strong
As Hulk ignores bad reviews for very long
I’ve got E. coli inside of me
Health inspector will make us shout in glee!”
Anything Pastamania related is an awesome find.
I just got back from Dubai, and found myself in Mall of the Emirates – the one with the indoor ski slope. When I noticed that there was a Pastamania in the food court, I went berserk with glee. Sadly, it’s not Hulkster-themed at all, and it has branches in Kuwait, Brunei, Egypt and Communist China. Looks like the Iron Sheik and General Adnan won in the end.
www.pastamania.com
That was beautiful Jed.
The pasta shape where Hogan’s suppose to be doing a pectoral flex, does it look like he’s doing something … inappropriate with his hands?
It sure looks that way, doesn’t it?
I can’t say that I’ve eaten at Pastamania, but if it’s Chef Boyardee-level quality, I’d have taken a pass anyway.
I didn’t know nuggets were a type of Pasta.
Whatcha gonna do when Pastamania runs wild on your toilet?
ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? 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WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.ecause tonight, The Rock and Kane team up with Hulk Hogan…AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING BROTHERS!?!? WHETHER IT’S THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF ROCK FANS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND HULKAMANIACS, OR TWENTY THOUSAND SCREAMING KANEANITES.
Bet
hi yes I would like the shells for my pasta, white clam for my sauce, I guess I will live a little and add some chicken, and a side of pasta salad and don’t you dare scimp on any of it! What’s that? Would I like a beverage? Well I just happen to have a coupon here for a free beverage so as every late 90’s wrestler said SUCK IT!
“I only hope my bowels will prove strong
As Hulk ignores bad reviews for very long
I’ve got E. coli inside of me
Health inspector will make us shout in glee!”