Headlies: WWE To Recreate Wrestlemania I Main Event For Next Saudi Arabia Show

15 Submitted by on Mon, 10 June 2019, 08:00

Stamford, CT – Hot on the heels of their latest special event in Saudi Arabia, WWE has announced that they will be recreating the classic Wrestlemania I main event match that featured Hulk Hogan and Mr. T taking on “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff.

“We are very excited to be going back to Saudi Arabia so soon,” said WWE CEO Vince McMahon, sitting atop a pile of blood-soaked money. “This time around, we’re going to be doing something truly special: We will be seeing a rematch of one of the greatest main events of all time. In one corner, the immortal Hulk Hogan and the legendary Mr. T. In the other, the dastardly ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper and the spectacular “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff! It’s a rematch 34 years in the making!”

The addition of Hogan and Mr. T to the event has garnered main stream attention, but several wrestling news outlets have pointed out the difficulty of filling the rest of the match.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” said Triple H. “Our generous benefactor Mohammad Bin Salman has stated that he wants this rematch, so we’ll give him this rematch. Naturally, we’ll have to make some…adjustments, but it will still have the same feel as the original match.”

PWTorch’s Wade Keller reports that “Rowdy” Drew McIntyre will be filling in the role of Piper much in the same way that sumo Hiroki Sumi posed as Yokozuna at The Greatest Royal Rumble. Keller also says that Paul Orndorff, who has suffering from health issues in recent years, will be replaced by “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Leveque.

“It’s going to be a great event,” proclaimed Triple H. “We’re even having the original managers return. In one corner ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton will supporting ‘Rowdy’ and ‘Mr. Wonderful’. In the other corner will be none other than WWE legend ‘Superfly’ Sivi Afi!”

The event, tentatively titled “SuperShowdown: The Search For More Money”, will also feature a 60-man battle royal, Shane McMahon defecating on The Miz, and The Undertaker versus Harley Race.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
15 Responses to "Headlies: WWE To Recreate Wrestlemania I Main Event For Next Saudi Arabia Show"
  1. #OPC says:

    I fully expect them to just redo the entirety of WrestleMania III at this point.

  2. M says:

    I was hoping for Hawkins and Ryder dressed up as Edge and Christian taking on The Hardy’s and Luke Gallows and Big E dressed as The Dudley’s in a TLC match

  3. Craig says:

    How about inducting the AEW Casino Royale Battle Royal?

    It was awful. Oh yeah I forgot, your opinion is Double or Nothing was the greatest pro wrestling event in recent memory.

    Never thought I’d see the day that wrestlecrap was blind to wrestling crap.

    • RD Reynolds says:

      Lots of folks didn’t like that battle royal, could see it up for the Gooker if you’re lucky.

    • Erci says:

      Although I liked Double or Nothing as a whole, gotta admit the battle royal sucked.
      But then again, most battle royals suck. I mean the whole idea of a battle royal seems to be lets throw so many guys in the ring that they get in each others way, and prevent the audience from seeing whats going on.

  4. Dr.Gonzo says:

    ….you forgot mr.t is dead, huh?

  5. Jerry says:

    Must be hard to push satire far enough to not be overtaken by reality at these events. At this point, I would neither rule out a (porpably literally) Last Man Standing match Taker – Hogan – Hart, nor one of the future events being named Greatest Wrestlemania X-Seven.

  6. John C says:

    Damn I wanted to see Yosemite Orndorff getting nailed with Cowboy Bob’s cast. I am holding out hope for a Brutus Beefcake & Greg Valentine vs Mike Rotundo & Barry Windham tag team grudge match, The US Express never got satisfactory revenge from The Dream Team’s miscarriage of justice when they robbed the WWF Tag Team Championships from them. Why yes I have been watching a lot of WWF House Shows from 1985 lately, why do you ask?

  7. Arya Witner says:

    Tremendous. Odds are Mr Wonderful won’t be doing the job this time

  8. PMH says:

    “…Shane McMahon defecating on The Miz… ”

    I literally just LOLd. Maybe peed a little.

  9. Christopher Haydu says:

    This was funny, but I think it would have been a lot funnier if it has been posted just after Crown Jewel.

  10. Captain Obvious says:

    This might work if they also bring in GARY SPIVEY from the WORLD PSYCHIC NETWORK to convince Triple H that he’s WONDERFUL. Nah I don’t think Trips will need too much convincing.

  11. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Another bout for the event is in doubt. Mohammad Bin Salman had originally wanted Saudi sensation Mansoor to team with McMahon’s new Mega Power team of Roman Reigns and the Miz. Vince McMahon was initially in favour of the match until someone pointed out that the pro-Saudi audience may cheer more for Mansoor than Roman. Immediately, McMahon cancelled the match and booked the Shane-Miz defecation and Roman to beat up known Iranian the Iron Sheik.

    “I think it’s ludicrous to suggest anyone is more popular than Roman Reigns anywhere in the global,” screeched McMahon as his personal physician handed him his pills. “Roman is not only the best in the world but the most popular WWE of this generation,” McMahon began to fiddle with his private area. “Do you remember the 2018 Royal Rumble? Roman was in ring with Cena and the crowd started cheering ‘you both suck’ at two kids in Shinsuke Nakamura shirts! I remember RAW when the yodelling guy with the bald head would wrestle and the fans held up signs saying ‘Roman Section’ ! Then there was the guy from the Soviet Union who married Lana and he started that stupid thing where he celebrated his own day every day – the fans were so pissed they started to cheer ‘Roman Day’ instead!”

    After a good five hour cackle and a reference to the feeble Miz rip off Daniel Bryan being turned heel because he could never get across it was revealed the team of Mansoor, Miz and Roman were schedule to take on the team of the sinister Mr Nakamura and his team of the ‘Syrian Cyborg’ Al Cesaro and the masked Mr Israel who despite having a Bulgarian flag tattooed on this arm would insist sing the Israeli national anthem before the match much to everyone’s annoyance.

    When asked where he acquired the trio McMahon revealed they were three chumps who were turned heel because they never had the charisma, skills or ring presence to get over – unlike his beloved Roman.

    Further reports suggest Miz is looking for to the Shane defecation as it is something Maryse refuses to do to him in the bedroom.

  12. Trekkie313 says:

    Why not just use holograms at this point, all that money…

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