Headlies: WWE Staff Already Ignoring Kid Rock

8 Submitted by on Mon, 02 April 2018, 08:00

New Orleans, LA – WWE officials, staff members, and Superstars have all collectively started to ignore Hall of Fame Inductee Kid Rock.

The rap/rock/country artist arrived in New Orleans early this morning to go through a walk-through for his WWE Hall of Fame inductions. The wrestling world was shocked  when he was announced alongside beloved professional wrestling figures as Goldberg and the Dudleys. Many feel that his limited exposure to the business and the fact that he filmed a sex tape with Creed frontman Scott Stapp would have disqualified him for consideration.

Kid Rock’s stretch camouflage limo parked in a distant lot, forcing him to walk. Bursting through the arena door in his American flag-colored mink coat, Rock’s demands of “Peanut butter and caviar sandwich, no crust!” went unanswered. He audibly sighed when his assistant handed him a lukewarm Diet Mr. Pibb after not being able to find craft services.

Stagehands, electricians, and Teamsters buzzed around Rock and his entourage, putting the finishing touches the Hall of Fame displays. Rock and his crew tried desperately to get someone’s attention. Shouts of “My name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid Rock!” echoed throughout the arena.

“Hey, yo!” shouted Kid Rock to a portly crew member. “Take my acceptance speech and put it into the Teleprompter!” Without missing a beat, the crew member took Kid Rock’s speech, blew his nose with it, and dropped it to the floor.

Upset, Kid Rock wandered backstage, running into several Superstars. The New Days quickly put their headphones on and Braun Strowman pretended to be on his phone. Finn Balor stood perfectly still hoping that Kid Rock was part Tyrannosaurus Rex. WWE CEO Vince McMahon simply turned his back on Kid Rock, continuing to give instructions to workers.

“Hey! Hey, Bayley ! I’m feeling pretty down. Can I have a hug?” begged Kid Rock to the fun-loving star.

“Fuck off, scumbag,” said Bayley harshly as she slapped his hands away and rushed past him.

Kid Rock was removed from the arena by security for trespassing and his fur coat was thrown out.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
8 Responses to "Headlies: WWE Staff Already Ignoring Kid Rock"
  1. Walter Kovacs says:

    I thought he was going to play all the women to the ring for the battle royal, and play over half of it, so that no one knows who is in the match, and surprise entrants are eliminated unceremoniously. And then a man in drag wins it.

  2. Christopher Haydu says:

    This wasn’t that funny. If anything, it just pisses you off more that Kid Rock will be in the WWE Hall of Fame, but Chris Benoit, Demolition and many others are not. Aggravating doesn’t begin to describe it….

  3. KatieVictoriasSecret says:

    God knows I’ll be ignoring him when they televise his speech on the network tomorrow.

  4. MistaMaddog says:

    Why the hate? This is a “Sports Entertainment” Hall Of Fame instead of a wrestling HOF, as Kellie Baldyga puts it.

  5. Sunday nights main event says:

    Lol at people taking the wwe hall of fame seriously. And Chris Benoit? The guy who murdered his wife and child, and you want him in a hall of fame?

    Fans getting angry over a fake sport, smarks who watch shows they don’t enjoy and bitch about, wanting guys like cm punk and Daniel Bryan in the main event when they would be jobbers in the 80s, taking wrestling seriously when it’s a fake sport for entertainment purposes, playing fantasy booker online, wanting a murdering p.o.s in a hall of fame which means nothing, chanting “you can’t wrestle” at guys who clearly can when the fans aren’t athletic enough to jog and giving fake matches ratings out of five.

    No wonder people laugh at wrestling fans!

    • BJ says:

      Since when was the WWE HOF a legitimate award in the first place? People like Kid Rock and Vince McMahon’s driver who aren’t even wrestlers in the first place are suddenly given wrestling awards?

      If not for Chris Benoit’s double murder-suicide, he would be worthy to be part of the HOF. Then again, WWE prides itself for being an “entertainment” (not really) show instead of a wrestling show in the first place.

  6. Daddy Nitro says:

    That’s what he gets for supporting a scumbag like Donald Trump. Fuck KR.

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