Headlies: WWE Finally Enforces Stipulation of Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

5 Submitted by on Fri, 13 June 2014, 08:00


Miami, FL – After years of oversight, WWE officials have finally enforced the stipulation from the match between Team Johnny and Team Teddy from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

The match pitted members of both Raw and Smackdown, each representing their respective General Managers. Team Teddy, representing Teddy Long, consisted of Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali and Booker T. Team Johnny, representing John Laurinaitis, consisted of David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre. A stipulation was added to the match that who ever lost, would be fired from their GM position.

“Well, I admit, we, uh, we’ve been kind of busy these past few years,” said an embarrassed Vince McMahon. “Sometimes these things happen. Between the excitement of Wrestlemania, the network, WWE Studios, my wife Linda’s second unsuccessful senatorial campaign, losing millions of dollars, and a really good chicken Caesar wrap I had last week, firing Teddy just slipped my mind.”

“Oh how sweet it is!” crowed the gravel-voiced Laurinaitis during his break at the Kum-n-Go. “Revenge is a dish best served cold. I mean, I was fired long before Teddy was, but it still feels good. This is people power!”

Long, who has spent a career in professional wrestling and over a decade with the WWE, quietly whispered “Holla holla, player,” to himself as he gathered his belongings from his desk.

“The only thing that will cheer me up now is a tag team match. I’ll be teaming with a spoon against a carton of Breyer’s S’mores ice cream and my feelings,” said a misty-eyed Long.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
5 Responses to "Headlies: WWE Finally Enforces Stipulation of Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy"
  1. Andy says:

    In related news, JTG was finally spotted by a member of the McMahon family and is now available for bookings.

  2. barronmore says:

    We’ll, this MUST be a headlie, be=cause i can’t imagine Vince forgetting to to say “YOUR FIRED” to anyone!

  3. Sean O says:

    JTG was finally let go, though his partner, the barrel he hid in to prevent his firing, is still with the company. Rumor has it he is now teaming with Zack Ryder.

  4. Vealchop says:

    JTG’s hide and seek world record has sadly come to an end.

  5. AdamX says:

    Teddy Long was on borrowed time now that he no long had THE UNDERTAKER to fall back on to punish those rascally heels.

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