Headlies: WWE Brings Back The Bunkhouse Stampede

4 Submitted by on Mon, 02 October 2017, 08:00

Uniondale, NY – After receiving a largely positive response for bringing back NWA/WCW’s event Starrcade, WWE has announced that they will also be bringing back the Bunkhouse Stampede.

The Bunkhouse Stampede, which began in 1985, was a battle royal held by the NWA that often saw participants wearing cowboy boots and street clothes. Wrestling legend Dusty Rhodes won the event five years in a row.

“I couldn’t believe the response to bringing back Starrcade,” said Vince McMahon. “Nobody was clamoring for Capitol Punishment or Over The Limit to come back and those were beloved WWE events. It’s just a name, isn’t it? I mean, we created a new event just so I could hear Michael Cole say ‘balls’ over and over again. Well, we’re going to give the WWE Universe what they want and clearly, they want dumb, hick wrasslin’ and that’s what we’ll give to them.”

Participants have been instructed to wear cowboy boots, hats, overalls, and to either be chewing straw or tobacco.

“I want this thing to be just like how I imagine the South,” said McMahon to several participants. “I want you all to be gross and covered in dirt. I want you to stink like week-old pig slop! Do a jig! Drink moonshine from a jug! Tell the crowd you sleep with your sister! You know, real Southern stuff! Yee-haw!”

Things became incredibly awkward after McMahon saw Shinsuke Nakamura in a cowboy hat and said, “Looking good, Jimmy Wang Yang!”

Many believe that Baron Corbin will win the Bunkhouse Stampede just so he will be forced to carry around a ceremonial giant boot for the rest of the year.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
4 Responses to "Headlies: WWE Brings Back The Bunkhouse Stampede"
  1. John C says:

    Then they can bring back The Chamber of Horrors. Except this time, the chamber is just a bunch of monitors all over a cage which shows only WCW gimmick matches. The wrestlers battle to strap someone into a chair so they have to watch every horrible stipulation match. Forced to watch King of the Road, Viagra on a Pole, the P.N. News scaffold match, etc. the straped in wrestler can choose to electrocute himself instead.

    • Barronmore says:

      I’d love to see the Bunkhouse Stampede again. I remember some of the JCP televised events where they’d show bits of the battle royal before signing off the air. The Cage Match finals were awesome too. Still remember seeing Barbarian vs Dusty Rhodes on TV.

    • Derek says:

      special enforcer is jigsaw

  2. FakeFakeRazorRamon says:

    Just like when Dusty booked himself to win every Bunkhouse Stampede, Triple H could book himself to win it.

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