Headlies: WWE Announces All-Fan Edition of “King Of The Ring”

27 Submitted by on Mon, 29 June 2015, 08:00


Roanoke, VA – WWE officials announced yesterday that they will once again be resurrecting the King Of The Ring tournament this year. While the concept remains the same, this version of the King Of The Ring will showcase various WWE celebrity fans that the internet has grown to love and/or hate.

“The WWE Universe is the greatest group of fans any organization can ask for,” said Stephanie McMahon. “It’s time they finally got their chance to shine and give back to us for once. We have combed through the best and the brightest and have narrowed it down in brackets to determine the ultimate WWE Fan!”

“It’s a great bunch of dorks…I mean fans,” said Triple H. “There’s no telling who will win. The smart money is on WWE mainstay Vladimir, but don’t count out Brock Lesnar Guy and Miz Girl! I can’t wait to see what happens when ‘Guy in Green Smiley Face Shirt that probably spends his entire paycheck so he can sit in the front row every few weeks’ takes on Sign Guy!”

One edition to the tournament that has gained a lot of attention is the inclusion of “Crying Kid With Weird Yellow Hat” from Wrestlemania VII. Crying Kid, who openly weeped during the reunion of “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth, has become an internet meme over the past few years. Now a Lead Sales Analyst at MetLife, Crying Kid has returned to the WWE to take his rightful place in WWE history. He will be taking on Shocked Fan After Undertaker Lost At Wrestlemania.

“Now we will have a King of the fans to join our own king of the ring, Sheamus!” said Triple H.

Stephanie sighed and rolled her eyes while texting an apology to Wade Barret.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
27 Responses to "Headlies: WWE Announces All-Fan Edition of “King Of The Ring”"
  1. Hulk6785 says:

    My money is on the “Guy Who Went Apeshit When Brie Bella Called Stephanie McMahon A Bitch.”

    • Arriba McIntyre says:

      Ah, you mean Chris Sharpe! http://www.prowrestlingtees.com/media/catalog/category/Chris_Sharpe.jpg

      • Darryl Stewart says:

        It’s so disappointing to learn he was a plant. I enjoyed the reaction more when I thought it was real.

  2. Darryl Stewart says:

    Faith No More Guy FTW~!

    • Jimbolian says:

      You mean the dude with the long black hair and beard and the sunglasses that looks a little bit like Mick Foley? Back then, I considered him to be “Vic Venom”, but to my surprise, I was disappointed to learn Vic Venom was a pseudonym for Vince Russo.

      • Darryl Stewart says:

        I guess he does look like Foley now that you mention it: http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y259/TroubleBruin/Vladimir/vlcsnap-2011-07-25-19h31m33s5.png

        • Jimbolian says:

          Yup, that’s him. That guy was friggin’ everywhere during the mid-to-late 90’s for WWF and ECW.

    • Jason Bailey says:

      I believe his name is Lenny, and he avoids the wrestling websites completely because he likes to be surprised. He also has an enormous Snoopy collection.

  3. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    During the show, Green Lantern Fan interrupts & cuts a promo that pisses everyone off and puts himself over, similar to what JBL did at One Night Stand 2006.

  4. John C says:

    In the finals, Shocked Taker fan loses to Crying Kid when he sees the footage of Undertaker being pinned at Wrestlemania 30 and is too stunned to continue the match. During Crying Kids’ corination ceremony the ECW legendary front row fans stage a invasion. Hat Guy & Rob Zombie Lookalike perform Total Elimination on Crying Kid and pound away at Jerry Lawler hosting the ceremony. It leads to the first ever WWE War Games Match in honor of Dusty Rhodes pitting the WWE group vs ECW group. TNA would have interfered, however no fans of the company could be found.

  5. Handsome B. Wonderful says:

    Oh no! You didn’t mention that jabroni Frank The Clown! Now he’s gonna go on Twitter and have another cry about being disrespected.

  6. Brian Belliveau says:

    The last part with Stephanie texting Wade is the best part of this.

  7. Jeremy says:

    Whoever wins this will still have more credibility than Barrett gained from it.

  8. Down With OPC says:

    What about:

    WrestleMania 23 Streaker
    Disgruntled Triple H Fan After His Match With Cena at WrestleMania 22
    Cody Rhodes’ Only Fan
    Tie Dye Guy
    Roddy Hogan
    The Guy Who Interrupted Batista Walking Backstage
    The Guy Who Knocked Eddie Guerrero off the Ladder
    “Kick His F**kin’ Ass!” Girl at Survivor Series 2000

    Front Row Dave Meltzer at Chi-Town Rumble could be included for NWA/WCW

    TNA’s fan representation could include Robbie from the Highlanders

  9. Darryl Stewart says:

    But wait! Are we matching them up as they are today…or as they were in their primes? ^_^

  10. Thomas Moffatt says:

    No one remembers Stinky… he was stock footage used on Superstars around late 96 to early 97 of a guy holding his nose and giving the thumbs down… (sighs) I miss Stinky… (sighs again)

  11. MisterSpiffy says:

    We have to include guy who got beat up by Referee Mark Curtis in WCW

  12. Josh says:

    Suddenly, Vince McMahon walked in and reminded the creative team of the success they had bringing Ronda Rousey into Wrestlemania.

    Realizing their error, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon immediately got on the phone to dial the most famous MMA fan of all time:

    The “Just Bleed” Guy.


  13. RD Reynolds says:

    FINALLY..Vladimir has come to WrestleCrap!

  14. John Vairin says:

    You know, I ran into Vladimir at Axxess at Wrestlemania 25 in Houston, as well as Wrestlemania 30 Axxess in New Orleans. He is pretty cool.

    He gave me his e-mail in New Orleans, and someone on Facebook told me it is correct, but I keep getting my message sent back everytime I e-mail him for some reason.

  15. James says:

    Where’s It’s Still Real to Me, Dammit Guy?

  16. AK says:

    How many of these individuals have won a Slammy Award? From my understanding, I believe only one and that’s The Angry Miz Girl. She’s my pick to win it all. Especially if they can bring Damien Sandow out and turn him into her Stunt Double, The Angry Miz Girldow.

    Failing that, she has to be a surprise entrant in next year’s Royal Rumble.

  17. Brad says:

    What about that guy who would always show up dressed like Hulk Hogan and vaguely looked like him lol

  18. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Where’s Shaun??? The basketball kid????

  19. Doc 902714 says:

    What about the Ultimate Fanboy nerd that sounded a lot like Jerry Lewis? I think Jamison was his name

  20. Kcnut says:

    What about Noelle Foley and Dewey Foley winner canes the loser. Funny thing is I show my dad Noelle Foley and asked him does a babe like her came from Mick Foley.

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