Headlies: Wrestlers Secretly Rolling Up New Gimmicks

4 Submitted by on Fri, 18 January 2013, 10:00


When Kane and Daniel Bryan became tag team partners it was assumed by most fans that the writers simply had nothing for them but, according to Daniel Bryan, that’s simply not the case.

“Actually, it’s not as random as you would think”, Daniel Bryan said in a candid interview on a local morning radio show. “Kane and I have been friends backstage for quite some time.”

When asked how this all came about, Daniel Bryan gave a wink and remarked that “it was magic.” He went on to explain that, “we as wrestlers go out there every day and we play a character, but it gets boring, you know? Face, heel, it’s all the same really, wrestling the same person day in and day out.”

Daniel Bryan went on to explain further that, unbeknownst to many, there is a secret means by which wrestlers unwind and distance themselves from the business, and their on-screen characters, in order to maintain their sanity.

“So yeah, one day, in the locker room, Kane could see that I was rather depressed and, being a locker room veteran, decided to take me under his wing by explaining to me the best way to relieve stress in our business: tabletop role playing games.”

The morning radio show host, not believing Daniel Bryan, had him call up Kane himself to verify this claim. “Oh, yeah, it’s true,” Kane explained over the phone, “At least once a week we all get together; Daniel, John Cena, The Great Khali, and myself.”

“Believe it or not, The Great Khali makes one hell of a Dungeon Master,” Daniel Bryan exclaimed. “He goes all out wearing this white wizard robe that I think he stole from the WWE costume department, said it used to belong to some guy named Mordecai?”

“Last week was really interesting,” Kane noted, “our party was up against a Bone Dragon and, luckily, Daniel Bryan kept rolling twenties and scoring critical hits with his fighter. Cena and his rouge were hitting from a distance with a bow and my paladin was, well—”

“Rolling ones!” Daniel Bryan said with a laugh. “We ended up defeating the Bone Dragon, but not before Kane’s character died. It was pretty awesome, I can’t wait until the next time we play!”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you Daniel,” Kane said with a sinister laugh, “your fighter may have gotten lucky, but his character sheet didn’t fare too well against my lighter!” Kane hung up the phone after that, leaving an infuriated Daniel Bryan to storm out of the radio station yelling “NO!” over and over.

Written by

The very first wrestling match that I ever saw was Adam Bomb versus The Undertaker. The very first pay-per-view that I ever saw was King of the Ring 1995. I've been knee deep in the crap since the beginning and I'm not looking to clean myself up anytime soon, thank you very much! This is a dream come true.
4 Responses to "Headlies: Wrestlers Secretly Rolling Up New Gimmicks"
  1. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    Is it wrong that I actaully want to see this happen on WWE television?

  2. Sean says:

    I want to see this on Raw

  3. BANG!BANG! says:

    This has to be real! Its awesome!

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