Headlies: WrestleMania 29 Card Updated Post-Royal Rumble

18 Submitted by on Mon, 28 January 2013, 15:47

The WrestleMania 29 card has been officially updated after the tremendous Royal Rumble in Phoenix, Arizona on Sunday night. Let’s take a look at how the card shapes up after a superhuman performance by John Cena in winning the Royal Rumble match.

WWE Championship Match
John Cena vs. John Cena

World Heavyweight Championship Match
John Cena vs. John Cena

Last Man Standing Match
John Cena vs. John Cena

Six-Pack Challenge Ladder Match
John Cena vs. John Cena vs. John Cena vs. John Cena vs. John Cena vs. John Cena

Special Challenge Match
John Cena vs. John Cena with John Cena as Special Enforcer

Best Two Out Of Three Falls Match
John Cena vs. John Cena with John Cena as Special Guest Referee

Divas Mud Wrestling Match
John Cena vs. John Cena

John Cena-On-A-Pole Match
John Cena vs. John Cena

LumberJohn Match
John Cena vs. John Cena

A Musical Appearance By John Cena

It’s shaping up to be quite the card. Can John Cena regain what is rightfully his? Will General Manager John Cena throw any curveballs at John Cena to derail his quest? Only one way to find out! Tune in LIVE on Pay-Per-View!

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18 Responses to "Headlies: WrestleMania 29 Card Updated Post-Royal Rumble"
  1. carl zayas says:

    That’s crap! It’s the same main event as last year.

  2. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Someone should do this card on WWE ’13.

  3. Shawn Doc Girt says:

    cant type…..laughing too hard

  4. Zeedeevel says:

    It’s funny because WWE seems to make you want to think John Cena is the only guy worth watching. A lot of you fellow old school fans may agree with me on this but I feel Punk’s title run was very similar to Randy Savage’s in 88-89. Sure, he had the belt but he still wasn’t the featured guy. Hogan and Cena play the exact same role just in different time periods. Only thing is back then Vince realized when something got stale.

  5. Matt Soileau says:

    It’ll be Cena in green hat vs Cena in purple hat…

  6. Hunter says:

    Ugh, so predictable. No one can beat John Cena, not even John Cena. And we all know how good John Cena is at ladder matches. John Cena will pull John Cena off the ladder and get the contract to face John Cena at Extreme Rules.

  7. Kage says:

    I’m sure we can cram Orton in there somewhere…


  8. Darwin says:

    This reminds me of that UFC card where Brock Lesner fought Brock Lesner.

  9. Tommy B Rude says:

    I get that wrestling fans on the internet are obligated to hate John Cena. Ok, I get it. But this feels more like some random forum post than a wrestlecrap.com entry. Please don’t make this new format feel like a step down from what we’ve come to know and love.

  10. Alan says:

    This is THE funniest thing I’ve read so far on the new Wrestlecrap! Thanks Michael!

  11. Lyle says:

    I was really hoping for a Last Cena Standing Match.

    With commentators John Cena and Michael Cole. It will be epic. 4+ hours of Cena making immature jokes with Cole’s sole contribution being the uproarious laughter he adds after each joke.

  12. Dice Ezail says:


  13. Alan says:

    You forgot the epic, end of an era Hell In A Cell encounter with WWE Champion John Cena vs. WHC John Cena, with John Cena as special guest referee, to unify the titles.

  14. Alan says:

    Or is that being renamed Cena In A Cell?

  15. Wrestlecrap's Janitor says:

    Dark Match: John Cena vs Jardu Cenesh

  16. 438 says:

    Don’t forget the dark match; the “30 Cena Battle Royal”.

  17. Ben says:

    I don’t know. I feel like John Cena should be a bit more prominently featured on that card.

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