Headlies: Vince McMahon Still Rewriting Last Week’s Raw

3 Submitted by on Mon, 25 February 2019, 08:00

Stamford, CT – Despite having already aired live on television, WWE CEO Vince McMahon is still hard at work rewriting the episode.

As reported by Dave Meltzer, last week’s Monday night Raw was still be rewritten as the show was airing. The event harkened back to the dark days of WCW when the company was in a slow death spiral.

When the writing team arrived in the office Monday morning, they were shocked to find a disheveled and extremely tired McMahon. He was wearing the same suit from last week, his tie askew and the neck of his dress shirt soaked with sweat. His bloodshot eyes and week-long stubble revealed that McMahon had not gone home for days.

“Alright, I think I’ve got this thing fixed,” said a hoarse McMahon. “Rollins comes out and challenges D’Lo to the European title. Then the Wyatt Family comes out an asks him to join the Can-Am Connection. Cut to the back where Bayley and Sasha are mad at each other for some reason. Then we welcome Raw Guest Host Kaiser Wilhelm II!”

The sleep-deprived McMahon giggled maniacally as his eyelids began to drop.

“I’m not paying you to slack off!” McMahon yelled at his eyes as they opened wide.

“Pop, I think it’s time to get some rest. We’ve got this,” said a concerned Triple H.

“Quiet, Terra Rizin! I’ll bust you down to Sunday Night Heat so fast your hair will magically grow back!” yelled McMahon. “Someone telegram the finish to tonight’s main event to Toots Mondt!”

WWE writers are trying to find a way forward despite McMahon wanting to focus on the build to In Your House: Beware Of Dog.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
3 Responses to "Headlies: Vince McMahon Still Rewriting Last Week’s Raw"
  1. Alex Williamson says:

    ‘those who do not learn from History are doomed to repeat it’

  2. Jim says:

    If WWE booked Raw like this, the ratings would reverse their fall and rise to the heights of the Attitude Era again. Kaiser Wilhelm II is money.

  3. Captain Obvious says:

    IYH : Beware of Dog 2 was better.

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