Headlies: ‘The Viking Experience’ Renamed As ‘Submission Sorority’

7 Submitted by on Mon, 22 April 2019, 08:00

Stamford, CT – After a large outcry from fans following their debut on Monday Night Raw, The Viking Experience will now be known as Submission Sorority.

Social media exploded with rage as the tag team, who were known as War Raiders in NXT and War Machine in ROH, appeared on WWE television for the first time. The Superstars formerly known as Rowe and Hanson even had their monikers changed to Ivar and Erik.

During Monday morning’s Creative meeting, Vince McMahon announced that they will once again be changing the tag team’s name.

“Okay, okay. I am man enough to admit when I’ve made a mistake,” said WWE CEO Vince McMahon, at this morning’s Creative meeting. “I don’t know about you, but when I think of a couple of large hairy men with painted faces slamming into smaller men, I think ‘Viking Experience’. I guess the WWE Universe just isn’t ready for that one, so we’ll put it on the backburner. We never throw out ideas, we just repackage and reuse. Let’s go around the table and hit me with some names.”

“Lay-Cool!” said Smackdown lead writer Stephen Guerrieri.

“The Miracle Violence Connection!” yelled Bruce Pritchard.

“Jesse and Festus!” suggested Raw lead writer Ed Koskey.

“The Roman Reignses!” said Stephanie McMahon.

“No, no, no!” said McMahon, shaking his head in disappointment. “We need something that’ll really pop! We need a name that sparks some real emotion in the WWE Universe. Kevin, what’ve you got?”

“Submission Sorority!” shouted a giddy Kevin Dunn.

An air of uncomfortable silence hung over the meeting.

“I love it!” said McMahon with a broad smile across his face. “It’s tough, yet sexy!”

“Um, sir?” said an unnamed intern. “We tried to use that name a while back and it, um, turned out to be the name of an adult website.”

“Perfect! We need more adults watching Raw!” exclaimed McMahon. “Now what about their first names? We can’t have someone named Ivar in a sorority!”

“Charlotte and Paige!” cheered Dunn.

“Kevin, you’ve done it again!” declared McMahon “There’s going to be another wall on your cubicle when you go back to your desk!”

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
7 Responses to "Headlies: ‘The Viking Experience’ Renamed As ‘Submission Sorority’"
  1. John C says:

    For bleeps sake it could have at least been The Viking Express. That is terrible as well but The Viking Experience sounds like a gimmick ferry ride. You get cheap plastic hats with horns on them, lousy finger sandwiches, lukewarm Gennesee cream ale and a chance to win an autographed picture of Jon Mikl Thor the star of Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare. The only worse Viking experience in WWE history was Brock’s failed tryout with the Minnesota based football club.

  2. Brak says:

    The scary thing is that this could very well happen

  3. John C says:

    “Damnit pal, we need a direction for them it’s been almost 16 seconds since I changed their name. Haaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa, I’ve got it. They’ll be The Poop Shooters, I love poop and they’ll be shooters damnit, haaaa haaaaa haaaaaaa!!!!! We’ll call the tubbier one, Brown and the other will be Mud. Haaaa haaaaa haaaaa!!!!! And get this we’ll team them with Triple H, he’ll use the sledgehammer and they’ll have a sludge hammer. Haaaaa haaaaa haaaaaa!!!!”

  4. #OPC says:

    The Be Sharps

  5. John C says:

    “Introducing…Ram and Rod…The 2 Norsemen.”
    “Introducing…Thor and Loki…The Copyright Infringers.”

  6. Thomas Moffatt says:

    No reference to the Bezerker?

  7. Caveman says:

    They have apparently changed the name three times now. Looks like Submission Sorority didn’t work out after all. They went with Viking Raiders at first, then with Viking Warriors and back again. Maybe their gimmick will be that they will have a different name every show they appear on, finally settling on “The Team with no name” and then going on to become “The Booty Men”, Disciples, etc..

    By the way, how long will it be that they realize that Erik sounds confusingly like Erick Rowan or Erick Young that are also on their roster and decide to change it (granted, Rowe also sounded too much like Rowan, but whatever)?

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