Headlies: The Club Get Their Own Clubhouse

14 Submitted by on Mon, 08 August 2016, 08:00


Cincinnati, OH – Now that they have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with in the WWE, The Club have decided it is time to open an official clubhouse.

“We’re here and we’re here to stay,” said Luke Gallows from inside the clubhouse. “Everyone is going to be totally jealous of The Club Clubhouse. Karl’s dad is like the president of a bank or something and bought us this awesome clubhouse that he put in his backyard.”

“It’s got a slide, and swings, and a trap door and everything,” said Anderson, barely containing his excitement. “The WWE Universe is now on notice: The Club Clubhouse is super cool and none of you are allowed in!”

“This is the best,” said Gallows while pouring Skittles into his mouth. “We can stay up late and read comic books and no one, not even Vince McMahon can tell us what to do!”

“Well, we have to be quiet after 10,” said Anderson. “We don’t want to wake my parents.”

Suddenly, a knock came from the clubhouse’s secret door.

“That’s not the special knock!” shouted Anderson.

“Come on guys, you know it’s me!” implored AJ Styles.

“That’s not the special knock, bro. How do we know you’re not one of the Usos trying to sneak in and steal those Playboys we found behind the convenience store last week?”

“Dang it, guys! I can’t hold onto the ladder and this box of Gushers at the same time. Let me in!”

“What’s the password?” giggled Gallows.

“Oh, man. It’s…it’s…wait, I got it. ‘Boys rule, girls drool!’” said AJ.

Anderson opened the secret door and the trio partied late into the early evening.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
14 Responses to "Headlies: The Club Get Their Own Clubhouse"
  1. EWA Beach Boy says:

    The Club Clubhouse is located right next door to the Aces and Eights’ clubhouse.

    Wait… or did Gallows’ dad just buy the old Aces & 8’s clubhouse and move it to his backyard???

  2. RD Reynolds says:

    “Late into the early evening” may be the best one liner in WrestleCrap history.

  3. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Michael Cole attempted to drop round to do an interview for WWE.com but was chased off by a barrage of rotten eggs with Gallows screaming, “No nerds!”

    “Yeah, Cole,” Anderson added, “No dorks neither!”

    A tearful Michael Cole was later found by John Cena who is now going round to beat up AJ Styles…

  4. John C says:

    The password would have to be, Beat up John Cena. In a fit of jealousy Roman Reigns would start his own clubhouse. Unfortunately, even after voting himself Clubhouse President he did not allow himself to join the club. He was last seen knocking on the cardboard box cool kid clubhouse gang of The Hype Bros. They pretended to not be in there even though you could see the box shaking as they tried to stifle their giggles.

  5. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Gushers do indeed rule. That is all.

  6. Geoff says:

    Clubhouse Mantra (much like the Moose Lodge mantra): “I’m a man but I can change. If I have to. But in the process of doing so, we must beat up John Cena. Oh and CAV’s RULE!” Go Labron!

    (this last part was added by Styles. Gallows and Anderson simply looked at him. Styles shrugged and was like: what? I like Labron James.

    Gallows then went to the corner to stifle his giggles and Anderson snatched the gushers out of Styles hands and attempted to eat them all up while trying to stay away from an indignant Styles.

  7. Alexandru says:

    Haha yeah the Club is dumb ass name. I think of a kids clubhouse when I hear their name

  8. Kontruse says:

    Whattabout “Karl’s hot asian wife”? Is she invited

  9. Caveman says:

    Seriously, I’d start watching WWE again regularly if they actually did skits like this.
    They should revive WWE Saturday Morning Slam and make “The Club Clubhouse” a regular skit on the show!

  10. Alvin says:

    “Sorry, NO USOS!”
    “But you let Jimmy in!”
    “That’s Usos, plural! We’re allowed to have one.”

  11. Porter Sultzbaugh says:

    Maybe they could change their name to “The Little Wrasslers?”

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