Headlies: “Ryback Rules” Explained

11 Submitted by on Sun, 12 May 2013, 14:53


We’ve been hearing Ryback say it for weeks, but nobody has had the time or determination to hash out exactly what “Ryback Rules” really are. Fear not, for we have compiled the five most important.

1. Ryback is allowed to look like Kermit the Frog (see lack of, neck).
2. Ryback is allowed to skip dentist appointments (and does…alot).
3. Ryback is only allowed to look impressive; he can’t actually BE impressive.
4. Ryback is allowed to steal pieces of Goldberg and Ultimate Warrior’s gimmicks because Vince says they no longer exist.
5. Ryback has legs the size of people (h/t Josh Matthews).

Bonus “Ryback Rule”:
6. Ryback’s nipples will not, under any circumstances, stay in his singlet during matches.

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11 Responses to "Headlies: “Ryback Rules” Explained"
  1. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Now then, Wrestleview is reporting that Michael Cole is to climb a mountain with JBL – you know what needs doing…

  2. cobra says:

    Being from the Detroit Area my entire life, every time I hear Ryback Rules, I think back to the Bad Boys and the Jordan Rules.

  3. Raven7309 says:

    Bonus Rule 7: Ryback will consult with RVD for tips on airbrushing his singlets.

    • Joe T says:

      Bonus Rule 7 addendum: As long as it doesn’t have to do with the person who did Giant Gonzalez’s outfit

  4. CBCB says:

    Kermit the Frog? Hmm. I always thought Ryback looked like a roided-up Steve Wilkos. Sunday’s main event should be a chairs match!

  5. SpinnerDunn says:

    Ryback wants to let everyone know he rules(again and again)

    He finally had enough of the fans and the Goldberg chants and he mocked them back on Smackdown.


  6. Thomas Moffatt says:

    You left a rule – No-one, and I repeat no-one, is to mention the name Skip Sheffield…

  7. Frozen Banana Expert says:

    Rule Number 8: Don’t feed him after midnight

    Aside – legs the size of people actually made me laugh. I’m actually enjoying Josh Matthews as the smarmy heel color commentator.

  8. Down With OPC says:

    Ryback can only fight E after he fights I, unless he first fights C.

  9. John Q Occupier says:

    Rule 6 made me sporfle my beer. 🙂

  10. Adam Cota says:

    How long until we get a Ryback Rules shirt similar to that of Hogan’s?

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