Headlies: Ron Reis Still Stuck In His Yeti Costume

6 Submitted by on Mon, 02 November 2015, 08:00


Cummings, GA – Former WCW wrestler Ron Reis, re-donned The Yeti costume for a Halloween party and has been unable to remove it for over a week.

Reis, who also performed under the name “Reese” and “Big Ron Studd”, is best known for his turn as The Yeti, which, despite it’s name, was a giant mummy.

“I needed something to wear for Vader’s annual “White Castle Of Fear” Halloween party and I thought ‘What the heck, this’ll make the boys pop’” said Reis. “Ice Train, Maxx Muscle, and Scott Putski loved it. Candy corn actually shot out of Erik Watts’s nose when he saw me. It turns out that old mummy costumes from the 90’s don’t have a lot of room to spare. Now I can’t get the stupid thing off!”

The Halloween season allowed Reis to continue about his daily life while still stuck in the Yeti costume.

“People just thought I was having some seasonal fun.” said Reis. “I was able to go to the store for groceries no problem. I even went to the mall. People took pictures with me. Of course, I didn’t tell them I was supposed to be a Yeti. That would’ve ruined the moment. Stupid Schiavone.”

Now that Halloween has passed, Reis has remained in his house. “I went to go get the paper and some bagels last night and an old lady screamed at me. I don’t need that. Why couldn’t I have put on my Super Giant Ninja costume instead? This suit stinks.”

Reis has gone through his phone book, calling various old wrestling friends from his WCW days to help him out of the costume. Unfortunately, none have returned his calls.

“Man, you dry hump Hulk Hogan once on pay-per-view and suddenly no one is your friend,” said Reis, still trying in vain to pull down the zipper of the costume. “If I did that today, I would’ve been a hero. Probably would’ve gotten my own reality show. Maybe even dated one of the Kardashians. Sigh. This never would’ve happened to Mortis.”

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
6 Responses to "Headlies: Ron Reis Still Stuck In His Yeti Costume"
  1. John C says:

    Still trying to understand why, why they call it The YET-AHHH!!! If he would have had a werewolf mask on would Tony have screeched, “Look out that Vampire-Ahhhh!!! has got a hold of The Hulkster. He and The Giant are giving him a…oh my we’re out of time for this week.”

  2. Josh says:

    I really like the Yetay’s taste in interior design.

  3. Thomas Moffatt says:

    The Yeti was stupider than the Gobbledygooker.

  4. Lee W says:

    The “wisdom” of wrapping a man in bandages and have him act like an overexcited dog is one of the most apt summaries of the idiocy of WCW at the time

  5. EWA Beach Boy says:

    Good thing kayfaybe was over or he’d have had to wear that while traveling to shows. Imagine that in a middle seat beside you in coach.

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