Headlies: Miz’s Dad Watches Son Get Pummeled, Wins Father of the Year for Not Stopping It

14 Submitted by on Tue, 17 September 2013, 08:00


Cleveland, OH – After watching his son receive vicious beatdown on Raw at the hands of Randy Orton, George Mizanin was awarded the 73rd annual “Father Of The Year” award from the Father’s Day Council.

A small ceremony was held at the Cleveland Hilton Conference Room C. Council chairman Dan Orweig was on-hand to present the Miz’s father with a plaque, a “World’s Best Dad” t-shirt, and a large honey-glazed ham.

Orweig commended Mr. Mizanin for his “Unwavering ability to show absolutely zero emotion or concern while his son was pummeled mercilessly mere feet in front of him.”

Applause rose up from the crowd as Orweig continued, “It takes true courage to stand buy as a man that hears ‘voices’ tries to do everything in his power to hurt your son. Especially while his wife, the Miz’s mother, stands right next to you weeping in horror. Bravo, sir! You’ve earned this.”

Mizanin took the podium and spoke, fighting back tears, “Y’know, no father ever wants to outlive his son, but sometimes he just wants to see him have the snot kicked out of him. All those years of him listening to Linkin Park and yakking about Real World/Road Rules Extreme Inferno Tropical Challenge All Stars Whatever just pushed me to the brink. Last night, after they told me there was going to be a MizTV segment, I wanted to smack that little puke myself. I couldn’t have done this without him. I love you, Mikey!”

Mizanin joins an impressive list of past winners including former President Bill Clinton, Yogi Berra, Wolf Blitzer, and father of twelve children with eight different women, New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie.

For his part in the assault, Randy Orton will now be receiving a massive push as a babyface.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
14 Responses to "Headlies: Miz’s Dad Watches Son Get Pummeled, Wins Father of the Year for Not Stopping It"
  1. RD Reynolds says:

    Glad to see he got the award. He deserved it!

  2. The Great Sudoku says:

    Somewhere in California, Torrie Wilson is very very jealous of the Miz and his apathetic father. Memo to Vince, this is NOT a suggestion to have a storyline/wedding between Randy Orton and the senior Mr. Mizanin.

    • CarlMarksGuy says:

      +1 for The Great Sudoku!

      This angle sounds like this was the best parental no-sell since Big Show’s dad ignored having his coffin dragged behind Big Boss Man’s car.

  3. Raven7309 says:

    “Glazed Ham??!!” Frickin’ brilliant!! 😀

  4. Thomas Moffatt says:

    At least they didn’t have Dusty Rhodes kiss Vince/Triple H/Nipple H or all three on the naked rear

  5. Sir Thomas says:

    It’s funny because it’s mean.

  6. MJA says:

    Very funny as always, but c’mon guys give the Miz a pass this week. In all fairness that was a damn good segment of Raw. The WWE has definitely improved recently.

  7. Big wiggle says:

    The weeks of voting miz into power crappings have finally paid off

  8. 80's Guy says:

    Yeah, that was a pretty bad spot.

    Did anybody give him instructions? Did they not tell him to do something, react, show concern, anything? That was worse than a Keanu Reeves movie.

  9. Caleb Davenport says:

    That was probably the reaction when he told him he wanted to be a wrestler.

  10. Caleb Davenport says:

    Meanwhile his mother sold like she was Dolph Ziggler

  11. The Kid From Iowa says:

    However he won’t win any awards from the fashion police. Papa Miz looks like aging former 80s metal band member.

  12. Brian says:

    Miz’s dad no-sold better than Russo in a figure four!

  13. GG Duce says:

    I needed a chuckle. Thanks!

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