Headlies: Local Independent Wrestler Hospitalized After Slapping His Thighs Too Much

1 Submitted by on Mon, 11 December 2017, 08:00

Nashua, NH – Independent wrestler Johnny Flipz was hospitalized this weekend due to self-inflicted wounds to his thighs.

Flipz was competing in the triple-threat main event of New Hampshire Pro Wrestling Syndicate’s annual “Live Free Or Piledrive” event at Sununu Elementary School against “The Mad Millienial” Matt Milbury and Sgt. Biff Flagg when the injury occurred.

“I knew something was wrong about five minutes in the match,” said referee Shep Frazier. “I kept hearing this loud slapping sound every time Flipz did a move. At first, I thought the crowd was just getting into the match, but I didn’t see anyone clapping. Then I realized the sound was coming from inside the ring.”

While it is common for wrestlers to discretely slap their thighs when landing blows against their opponent to increase the impact, Flipz was slapping his thigh at any given moment.

“He’d slap himself for everything,” said Milbury after the match. “It started with some of the bigger moves like a superkick or a roundhouse. Then for regular punches and kicks. Later, he’d slap it for things that didn’t need more sound like sidewalk slams and elbow drops from the top rope. When we started the finish, he just stood in the corner and kept slapping his thighs, hambone style. It was insane!”

“At one point, he started slapping my legs! I couldn’t believe it,” said Sgt. Flagg.

With his thighs an unhealthy mixture of dark read and purple, Flipz gingerly limped to the draped-off section of the gymnasium serving as the locker room before collapsing. He was taken to the emergency room where he was diagnosed with severe bone bruises, strained muscles, and a torn hamstring.

For his safety, doctors have wrapped a large amount of gauze around Flipz’s hands to prevent further injury.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
1 Response to "Headlies: Local Independent Wrestler Hospitalized After Slapping His Thighs Too Much"
  1. John C says:

    In a similar vein, in the holiday season we should take a moment of time and wish a speedy recovery to Jeff Jarret and his slapnuts. He was always known in his heel run as a master baiter. And we should join hands by the ol’ Yule Log and sing as one, Jingle Balls.

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