Headlies: Lance Storm Joins Dancing With The Stars

6 Submitted by on Mon, 16 October 2017, 08:00

Los Angeles, CA – In a surprise move, former WWE, WCW, and ECW wrestler Lance Storm has joined the popular dancing competition Dancing With The Stars.

Following the increased viewership from wrestling fans after WWE star Nikki Bella joined the cast, network executives requested that another wrestler be added.

“Thanks to Nikki, we’ve reached a whole new audience that was never interested in competitive dancing before,” said executive producer Ashley Edens-Shaffer. “Now is the time to capitalize with this new audience and bring in another wrestler.”

While there have been many wrestlers known for their dancing skills, the show’s producers wanted someone with good, solid fundamentals and a no-nonsense attitude.

“We needed someone with the right skill set to really make an impact: athletic ability, determination, dependability, and a flair for the dramatic. Lance Storm was our man,” said Edens-Shaffer.

Joined by professional dancer Emma Slater, Storm filmed his first routine to rave reviews.

In a darkened studio with a single spotlight on him, Storm addressed the crowd and the audience at home. “If I could be fabulous for a moment,” he said as the house lights came up and his routine began.

Decked out in a sequin-covered tuxedo, Storm completed an impressive medley of dances set to a remix of Whitney Houston’s “I Want To Dance With Somebody”. Starting with the cha-cha, Storm transitioned seamlessly into the bunny hop and then the Hully Gully. The audience roared with approval as Storm flawlessly performed the Hustle, the Monkey, the Jerk, and the Mashed Potato.

Switching gears, Storm and Slater then performed a sultry Tango, Merengue, and Lambada. Women in the audience were moved to tears by Storm’s elegant and sensual dance moves. Storm capped off his routine with an incredible split that brought the audience to their feet.

The addition of Storm has proven to be a ratings bonanza for Dancing With The Stars. Producers are currently trying to bring “The Boogie Woogie Man” Jimmy Valiant on to the show as well.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
6 Responses to "Headlies: Lance Storm Joins Dancing With The Stars"
  1. John C says:

    Lance along with Disco Inferno & Alex Wright will host a show on satelite radio detailing his exploits. It’ll be called, If I Can Just Be Sirius For A Moment.

  2. RGO says:

    In a move that has to be viewed as coincidental, Vince McMahon has announced the formation of the ‘Xtreme Dancing Federation’.

  3. whorefinder says:

    “After Storm won, and became instantly popular, Triple H demanded a dance off at Wrestlemania. At the event, judged by Stephanie, Vince, and Triple H’s children, despite Triple H falling down twice, being booed by the crowd, and Storm doing numerous flips of his partner to the cheers of thousands, Triple H was declared the ‘Dance Champion of Wrestlemania’ and summarily hit Storm with a sledgehammer, and raised his arms to the piped in, prerecorded cheers.

    ‘I’m a legend!’ yelled Triple H.’And I proved it again! I’m the Greatest of All Time!’

    WWE officials stated that they would release a 9-disc set of Triple H’s dance moves and instructions. They denied rumors that they would have edit out tons of boos and negative heat.\'”

  4. Thomas says:

    My mom used to watch Dancing with the Stars, but even she jumped off that wagon. If Lance Storm were on, I would legitimately watch this every week he was on.

  5. "Vagabond" Jonathan Jacobs says:

    What? No cabbage patch?

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