Headlies: King Baron Corbin Disbands British Parliament

5 Submitted by on Mon, 23 September 2019, 08:00

London, England – In his first act as WWE’s new King Of The Ring, King Baron Corbin has disbanded British Parliament.

“King Corbin is a lone wolf,” said Corbin adjusting his crown. “I don’t need no stinking Parliament or Lords Spiritual or Chancellors of the Exchequers. MPs? More like P-Us, am I right? My people must know that they can come directly to me with their problems. Despite being their better in every way, they can approach me at Hot Topic whenever they want.”

The unprecedented move has caused a panic among elected officials in the United Kingdom.

“Well, I-I-I-can’t believe this Yank would have the cobbles to do such a thing!” said a disheveled Prime Minister Boris Johnson. “This is a load of codswallop, it is!”

“I have never shock-dropped so many monocles in my entire life,” said Leader of the House of commons Jacob Rees-Mogg. “My servants have had to work overtime without pay cleaning up all the shards of glass!”

The move, which has cancelled Brexit, has gone over surprisingly well with the public, earning him the nickname Corbin The Consensus Builder.

“We’ve been saying to toss out the whole lot of them for months now and King Corbin has finally done it,” said octogenarian Agnes Willoughby. “He’s full of beans and will get Britain back at the top of the pops.”

“I never thought I would say it, but King Corbin is the dog’s bollocks!” said bricklayer Lawrence Finch. “Bloody good show!”

King Corbin’s rumored second act, to make every Friday Fish And Chips Friday, has already created a movement to put his image on the £50.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
5 Responses to "Headlies: King Baron Corbin Disbands British Parliament"
  1. Sgt. Tubs says:

    According to girlgonelondon.com (I know, I know), there are no Hot Topic outlets in the UK.

    Every Friday is already Fish ‘n’ Chips Friday!

    Boris Johnson was born in New York City, so it’d be pretty rich of him to complain about the Yanks. You’ve got Jacob Rees-Mogg spot on, though.

  2. John C says:

    If he eliminates the round system in British wrestling as well he will be a good chap indeed.

  3. CF says:

    Um — I hate to tell you this, but: This isn’t *too* far removed from what’s *actually bloody trying to happen* in Britain right now…. (The SO has been following Brexit — she calls it “my favorite soap opera”. 🙂 )

  4. C Boz says:

    As a British citizen, I loyally will follow King Corbin. Honestly he cannot be much worse than the clown show that is Parliament these days.

    That is, until Haku takes back the crown that rightfully is his.

    God Save the King!

  5. C Boz says:

    As a British citizen, I loyally will follow King Corbin. Honestly he cannot be worse than the current clown show that is Parliament.

    My allegiance, obviously, will switch quickly once Haku retakes the crown that rightfully is his.

    To Haku!!! And God Save the King!!!

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