Headlies: Hulk Hogan Debuts New “Real Saudi Arabian” Gimmick At Crown Jewel

9 Submitted by on Mon, 05 November 2018, 08:00

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – Wrestling legend Hulk Hogan returned to the WWE this past weekend at Crown Jewel with an all-new pro-Saudi Arabian character.

Hogan emerged from the back to a deafening roar from the crowd. While the familiar strains of his classic theme song “Real American” blared over the speakers, subtle changes had been made to the lyrics. While lines about staying strong and being a man remained, the song mentioned being loyal to the kingdom and to never ask questions. Also gone was Hogan’s classic red and yellow colors, having been replaced by the colors of Saudi Arabia’s flag, green and white.

“Well let me tell you something, shaqiq,” said Hogan to cheers from the local crowd. “It feels so good to be out here in this wonderful country where nothing bad every happens! When I heard about Crown Jewel, I knew I had to be here, jack! When the check finally cleared, I hopped the first jumbo 747 jet to be with all you Hulkamaniacs. Now enjoy my 24-inch vipers, enjoy the show, and, please, no one bring up Yemen or journalists!”

Hogan, wrapped in the Saudi flag, high-fived and took pictures with the royal family. He also made sure to kiss Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman’s ring on the way out.

During the World Cup match, a mysterious new competitor named Mr. Saudi Arabia appeared ringside. He flexed, posed, cupped his ear to the crowd and then walked to the back. While many suspect that Captain Arabia was Hogan under a mask, WWE officials have remained mum.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
9 Responses to "Headlies: Hulk Hogan Debuts New “Real Saudi Arabian” Gimmick At Crown Jewel"
  1. Jerry says:

    Gotta say, WWE is really putting some effort into the Gooker Awards this year. First I thought, the Smackdown Top 10 were at least one of the contenders to come. Then there was the feud (?) between Bayley and Sasha, that became the front runner. Until the Lashley Sisters came along. And now we got this… thing last friday, that is indeed most fittingly described as an event – things undoubtedly happened.
    Vince is running the competition into the ground.

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      All Things Roman Reigns was a good contender, too, until the poor man got ill. I’m no fan of his but wouldn’t wish an illness like that on anyone.

      Nia Jax and the forced anti-bullying promo was another shocker. As was the Shinsuke Nakamura/AJ Styles low blow fest – what should have been a great series of bouts was a mess.

      Plus, there was the return of Hornswoggle which is never good.

      • Caveman says:

        An accurate candidate would be the Smackdown Live Lowblow Fest in general, as it has extended past AJ Styles and Nakamura.

  2. Acolyte Of Glorious La Parka says:

    I am a real Saudi Arabian

    Cut of the heads of every man

  3. John C says:

    “Well you know something brother dude me and my main man Sheik Brutus we are super excited to be here and to all you infidels out there whatcha gonna do when me and my scimitar run wild through you!!!!!!!!!!”

  4. Thomas Moffatt says:

    A WWE insider said, “The whole bring back Hulk Hogan in Saudi Arabia was considered a very high risk affair. With pork being banned in Saudi Arabia and Hogan looking like a Frankfurter there could have been a riot.”

  5. Barry White says:

    I like his old theme better
    “I am a Real American!
    Torture innocent people in Guantanamo Bay!
    I am a slave to Israel!
    Nuke innocent people of Japan because America fuck yeeeeah!”
    The irony is very strong when guys like you post about horrible things that hapoens in other countries.

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      Indeed – as a British citizen I am ashamed of the UK for inflicting horrible things such as James Corden, Coldplay and Russell Brand on the unsuspecting world…

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