Headlies: Hell In A Cell Accidentally Sent To Hell, Michigan

3 Submitted by on Mon, 17 September 2018, 08:00


Hell, MI – A mix-up in WWE’s shipping department sent the giant 5-sided red structure to the small town of Hell, Michigan and left the pay-per-view without it’s namesake cage.

The giant structure was accidentally sent to Michigan due to an error with Shop.WWE.com.

“Near as we can tell, someone ordered a Hell In A Cell playset and the order form cutoff the last word,” explained warehouse manager Butch Gray. “We just do what the forms tell us, so we broke down the Cell, loaded up the truck, and sent it off. Same thing happened when a person ordered a Viktor figure. He kept yelling about not wanting to go to Boise, but we stuffed him in a box and sent him off.”

“Well, we’re not exactly sure what to do with it,” said Hell mayor Connie Devries. “People can get married in it, I suppose. Winger is playing here next week, maybe they can use it somehow. As long as it doesn’t interfere with our Sweet Corn Days festival in October, we’ll be fine.”

The mood was less positive at the AT&T Center in San Diego, California where the wrestling event was taking place.

“How does this happen?” barked Vince McMahon to his staff. “We’re supposed to have the most vicious, most diabolical metal structure known to man set up around the ring. A structure with no escape, even though escape seems to happen quite often. Not…this,” said McMahon pointing to the ring in disgust.

With little time left before the event, WWE’s ring crew created an improvised cage made up of old paper towel rolls and WWE Kid’s Magazine.

“Alright, we can make it work,” said McMahon. “Just paint it red to cover everything up. If anyone asks, tell them it was Kevin Dunn’s idea.”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
3 Responses to "Headlies: Hell In A Cell Accidentally Sent To Hell, Michigan"
  1. John C says:

    Is there a town anywhere called Shitsville, because that’s where The Kennel From Hell would have gone to.

  2. CF says:

    Chris Sabin was unavailable for comment.

  3. #OPC says:

    Makes me wonder why they’ve never covered the cell in ice and had a “Hell Frozen Over” match.

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