Headlies: “Get Hurt By Brock Lesnar” Added To WWE Axxess

14 Submitted by on Mon, 13 July 2015, 09:25



Arlington, TX – WWE officials have announced the latest edition to Wrestlemania Axxess will be the “Get Hurt By Brock Lesnar” booth.

On a conference call this afternoon, WWE Chief Brand Officer Stephanie McMahon and WWE Chief Revenue and Marketing Officer Michelle Wilson revealed details for the new installation.

“Axxess, which takes place in the days leading up to Wrestlemania, is a chance for WWE fans to meet their favorite Superstars, watch live matches, enjoy memorabilia from WWE’s past, purchase merchandise, and experience interactive activities,” said McMahon. “We are always looking to give the WWE Universe the best experience possible with our interactives. We’ve had past success with ‘Put On Big Show’s Singlet’ ‘Guess What’s In Bray Wyatt’s Beard’ and ‘Throw Out Trash With Duke “The Dumpster” Droese’. Now it’s time to really give something the fans something to remember!”

“We’ve noticed a spike in interest from fans every time Brock Lesnar throws stuff into the crowd,” said Wilson. “The car door last week and the monitor a few months ago were just the tip of the iceberg. We thought fans would be upset that one of our Superstars was being reckless and possibly endangering their lives, but they can’t get enough!”

WWE quietly tested the idea of fans paying to be hurt by Lesnar at The Beast In The East event in Japan on July 4th. At a meet and greet event, several fans paid 6,000 yen ($48.89 US) to have items thrown at them by Lesnar.

“It was an incredible honor! Brock Lesnar hit me with a durian right in the face!” said fan Haruki Ikeda from his hospital bed through a translator. “My nose is broken, I cannot see out of my right eye, and I have a concussion. I cannot wait to go to Wrestlemania to have it done again!”

While details are still sparse, fans will be able to choose from a myriad of objects hurled at them or just be injured by Brock with his bare hands. For those interested and for a small extra fee, Axxess fans can also be insulted by Paul Heyman prior to or after the assault.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
14 Responses to "Headlies: “Get Hurt By Brock Lesnar” Added To WWE Axxess"
  1. RD Reynolds says:

    Could legit see people paying for this.

    • BadGuyRy says:

      Especially the Paul Heyman part. I might be willing to take a beating if it came with Heyman cutting a promo on me.

  2. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    I bet some fans would totally go for this.

  3. John C says:

    Other possible fun events, being lookout for Nicole Bass while he/she is on a “shopping” spree, play along time with Vince to see what announcer terms can no longer be used or become mayor of Fireman’s Carry City.

    • Isaac says:

      It’s Vince McMahon’s Taboo! “You have two minutes to describe these wrestlers hitting each other with a belt without using the words “wrestler” or “belt!”

  4. Thomas Moffatt says:

    F5 on Nipple H anybody???

  5. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Very disappointed there was no reference to a Baby Punt with Gene Snitsky…

  6. Simpsons says:

    If you have any questions about who is brock

  7. Caveman says:

    Why can’t fans get insulted by Paul Heyman during the assault? I guess I’m keeping my money!

  8. MistaMaddog says:

    You kidding? Paul Heyman came up with that in the original ECW…except it was the fans they did all the throwing.

  9. Thomas says:

    If they filmed this and put it on the Network, their subscription woes would be over.

  10. Bonesaw Shaw says:

    Shut up and take my money especially if Paul Heyman will insult me

  11. Wylliam says:

    “Brock Lesnar hit me with a durian” will now replace “Eddie stole my car”

  12. Preparation Triple H says:

    Only if Brock starts each greet with “LET’S…DO…THIS?!”

leave a comment