Headlies: Firebreaker Chip Issues Open Challenge To Randy Orton

11 Submitted by on Mon, 06 March 2017, 08:00

WCW Special Forces – Former WCW star Firebreaker Chip issued an open challenge to WWE Superstar Randy Orton following Orton’s burning down of Bray Wyatt’s compound.

“Mr. Orton has shown a complete disregard for fire safety,” said Chip. “We try to teach these kids from a young age that playing with matches is dangerous. Sure, the audience might cheer for you now, once the smoke clears, they’ll realize that pyromania is a serious problem with serious consequences.If you play with fire, you’re…well, you’re probably going to headline Wrestlemania, but you know what I’m trying to say.”

Orton, a man with a history of mental problems and violent outbursts, can now add arson to his long list of questionable acts.

“I’ll take on Orton wherever he wants,” said Firebreaker Chip. “Raw, Smackdown, WCW Worldwide, WCW Saturday Night, you name it. Any type of match you want, Randy. Steel Cage, Bunkhouse Brawl, Battle Bowl. Just no Inferno matches. Safety first!”

When asked about his game plan to take on Orton, Chip said, “My firefighting budget isn’t what it used to be, but you better believe I’ll use my patented squirt bottle on him. Squirt! Squirt! Squirt!”

When asked for comment, Orton slowly and methodically said, “Firebreaker Chip? That sounds delicious. I’ll bring some dip.”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
11 Responses to "Headlies: Firebreaker Chip Issues Open Challenge To Randy Orton"
  1. TrueCalling says:

    This would be a better match than anything that was on the Fastlane card.

  2. John C says:

    Can’t wait to read the interview with Firebreaker Chip in Pro Wrestling Torch

  3. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    I totally needed this laugh today. Thank you. 🙂

  4. Chris S. says:

    I feel like Firebreaker Chip is the most underused joke in wrestling history.

  5. Brian Jacobs says:

    To compensate Kane after banning the Inferno Match (and well to make up for Orton kind of betraying him for this convoluted heel/face turn), Chip allowed Kane to ride in the big RED firetruck and even sound the siren!

  6. Vincent T. says:

    …I just noticed the U.S. Tag Title around his waist. Does anyone else miss that belt?

  7. MistaMaddog says:

    Well, turns out the person in charge of WWE’s fire safety is none other than Fire Marshal Bill.

  8. Nicholas Nutter says:

    Insert “More credible contender than Jinder Mahall” joke here

  9. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    This made me laugh so hard! 🙂

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