Headlies: Fan Remembers It’s Thursday, Still Doesn’t Watch TNA

12 Submitted by on Fri, 31 May 2013, 10:30


Pittsburgh, PA – At 9:18 pm yesterday, lifetime wrestling fan Robert Turcotte suddenly remembered that it was in fact Thursday night and that TNA Impact Wrestling was airing at that very moment. Despite his realization, Turcotte still managed to not watch the program.

“I love wrestling. Always have, always will,” said the 33 year old Data Entry Specialist. “Whenever I come across professional wrestling, I have to watch. Whether it’s WWE, ROH, AAA, CMLL, and even the stuff from Japan, I just love it. I was just sitting on my couch, flipping through channels, when I remembered that it was a Thursday. That’s TNA night. At least, I thought it was. I couldn’t remember if they had switched back from Mondays since it’s been so long since I watched,” said Turcotte. “Is Consequences Creed still with TNA? I always liked him.”

Turcotte went to check the schedule online before becoming distracted by a Chikara video posted to his Facebook. When he returned to his couch, he changed the channel to Spike TV, where he was greeted by a long string of commercials. Out of sheer boredom, he began channel surfing once again. He settled on watching Naked Gun 33 1/3 despite the movie being halfway over and having already seen it 14 times.

With the movie ending at around 10:59, Turcotte accidentally turned back to Spike TV. “Who’s the annoying orange chick speaking to Hogan? Lacey Von Erich?” asked Turcotte, referring to Brooke Hogan. “Whatever, I’m going to bed.”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
12 Responses to "Headlies: Fan Remembers It’s Thursday, Still Doesn’t Watch TNA"
  1. CarlMarksGuy says:

    I think this happened to me once.

  2. Nick Nutter says:

    So sad and so true.

  3. patricko says:

    happens to me, frequently.
    Or I actually turn it on, say “why’m I doing this?” and shift my attention elsewhere.
    Should be lovin’ it, Tons of talent….
    I think last night it was fact that I turned it on and the hulkster and his daughter were on my TV.

    A re-run of big bang theory WAY more entertaining than the Hulk and Brooke show.

  4. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    It’s funny because I’m sure it happens a lot.

  5. RhineStoneCowboy says:

    Hahahaha,it’s funny cause its true!

  6. Paul says:

    Substitute “Monday” and “WWE,” and that describes my thought process. Impact is much, much more entertaining than the abortion that is Raw if for no other reason than I don’t have to endure App download pleading, tons of replays, and Cena’s thirtieth dull title reign.

  7. Peter says:

    It’s practically wrestling (WWE or TNA) these days for me.

  8. Doc 902714 says:

    I’d watch Naked Gun, Naked Gun 2 1/2 and Naked Gun 33 & 1/3 the final Insult repeatedly than having to endure one episode of the abomination that is Impact Wrestling. I’m serious and don’t ever call me Shirley.

  9. Down With OPC says:

    I swear, more often than not I end up not watching a show because I turn it on during the commercials. This actually happened this past Thursday night! It’s worse if I’m at a TV that doesn’t show what channel I’m on, trying to find wrestling (like at a hotel or something). It’s like it’s Murphy’s Law, in that the channel is almost GUARAN-DAMN-TEED to be on commercial. Then I give up and watch something else. Maybe it’s a good thing.

  10. RD Reynolds says:

    Literally howled when I read this one. Excellent work, Jordan!!

  11. Route 48 Aggregate and Feed says:

    There is only type of TNA I like and it ain’t the wrestling show.

  12. GG Duce says:

    I consider myself a fan of the genre, so every now and then I think I’m cheating myself by not watching TNA and I ‘ll try. Really, I’ll try.
    And then I remember why I don’t watch TNA and that I still have a few episodes of Cops dvr’d.

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