Headlies: Fan Now King Of The Office After Correctly Predicting Wrestlemania

8 Submitted by on Mon, 04 April 2016, 08:00


Portland, OR – Lifetime wrestling fan and current Assistant Director of Communications got TechSprout Industries Andy Liu has dubbed himself the “King Of The Office” after correctly predicting the outcomes of every match at Wrestlemania 32.

Liu confidently strode into his office at 8:30am, his head held higher than usual for a Monday morning. He took a large sip of Smoked Butterscotch Latte which he purchased as a reward for all of his hard work.

“I was pretty confident going into Wrestelmania that I would get most matches right,” said Liu, ignoring several voice mails on his office phone. “Jericho vs. Styles was pretty easy. Same with Kalisto vs. Ryback. Honestly, I can’t believe I got the ladder match right. I chalk that up to a lot of skill and a little bit of luck.”

Liu struggled through his morning meetings, resisting the urge to jump up on the conference table and do several classic wrestling poses. He spent most of his lunch break bragging on several message boards and fashioning a crown for himself out of printer paper and paper clips.

His natural high began to wear off around 2:30 when he visited Sue from Accounting.

“Hi Andy, how was your weekend?” said Sue, looking up from her spreadsheet.

“Pretty great!” exclaimed Liu. “I watched Wrestlemania last night and, get this, I correctly predicted every single match!”

“Wrestlemania?” asked Sue. “Oh, you mean that Hulk Hogan thing? That’s nice. I went antiquing. I bought the cutest water pitcher!”

Liu returned back to his cubicle slightly defeated, but quickly cheered himself up by pretending he was entering AT&T Stadium to thousands of screaming fans and raising an imaginary WWE championship belt.

He did not notice that his coworkers were watching his exaggerated movements and laughing loudly.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
8 Responses to "Headlies: Fan Now King Of The Office After Correctly Predicting Wrestlemania"
  1. Gotchism For Life says:

    “Wrestlemania? Oh you mean that Hulk Hogan thing.”

    That. was. awesome.

    I can just picture some 300 pound lardass drinking beer from his Minnesota Vikings beer mug while wearing a Minnesota Vikings jersey, Minnesota Vikings sweat pants and Minnesota Vikings hat while using his computer that has the Minnesota Vikings logo as the wallpaper, sliding his mouse along a Minnesota Vikings mousepad and saying “Yep, this article sure shows how retarded wrestling fans are.” He then uses the bathroom, dries his hands using his Minnesota Vikings towel and gets into bed and gets comfy under his Minnesota Vikings sheets, a poster of Good Ol #4 taped to the ceiling and Minnesota Vikings curtains hanging in the window…above the bed, a Minnesota Vikings banner.

    Because wrestling fans and Star Trek fans are pathetic.

    • I'm Not Using My Real Name says:

      A few years back I went to a bar with a few friends on a Sunday night. I was watching a PPV on one TV while they were watching that night’s football game on the TV next to it. At one point a guy walked by us wearing the same Cena shirt and Cena hat that Cena wore on the show that night. My friends started joking about a grown man dressing like their favorite wrestler. I pointed out that each of them were wearing jerseys of their favorite player, what’s the difference? I got a bunch of “umm…uhhs” and finally they settled on “Dude shut up, it’s not the same.”

      • Gotchism For Life says:

        A grown man wearing Cena gear? I’d make fun of him too. 🙂

        Their logic though…”ummms” with a “shut up”…brilliant.

  2. Geoff says:

    No, could be worse. I live outside the Bay Area and here they are rabid Raider’s fans. You’ve seen them in the stands, you’ve seen them in the streets wearing the black and silver, wearing the raider’s hats, the bandanas, face painted with the silver shields and the battle axes and the whole nine yards (so to speak). Now as I was sitting at a light the other day, a raider’s fan walked by wearing his black raider jersey, black backwards raider’s cap, raider’s sweatpants and sporting raider’s tattoos on both arms. I’m sure he is somewhere now saying: “Wow! Wrestling fans sure do take things to the extreme.” Talk about your dedication.

    Because wrestling fans and Star Wars fans are pathetic

  3. 80's Guy says:

    I could see similar comments being made for Walking Dead fans as well….

  4. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:


  5. Chris says:

    I only count him as getting them all right if he predicted Baron Corbin winning and The Rock pinning Erick Rowan BEFORE the show started. On the fly doesn’t count. So he better correct himself to his co-workers. Asterisk

  6. MistaMaddog says:

    After seeing how this year’s Wrestlemania ended, I wished I gone antiquing too…

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