Headlies: Eric Bischoff Finally Reads “The Death Of WCW”

4 Submitted by on Mon, 03 September 2018, 10:20

Schaumburg, IL – As the crowds dissipated and the lights faded from Starrcast, former WCW owner Eric Bischoff did something he thought he would never do: read RD Reynolds’ and Bryan Alvarez’s comprehensive book The Death Of WCW.

The Death of WCW panel, which became heated at several points as Bischoff hurled insults at a calm and diplomatic Reynolds, was well-received by those in attendance. Eventually, the two found some common ground and parted with a mutual respect.

Though Starrcast was a whirlwind weekend of fans and friends, an uncomfortable feeling remained in the back of Bischoff’s mind. His defense on the Death of WCW Panel felt hollow. He knew that his claims that Dave Meltzer had written the book and that information was only provided by “stooges” was false. In fact, he really knew nothing of what was in the book and it was time to change that.

Bischoff sat up in his hotel bed, book in hand, and a Meat Lovers pizza by his side.

“Alright, let’s see what this nonsense is all about,” he said to himself, flipping through the pages. “At least I get to read some good Jim Herd stories!”

For the next several hours, Bischoff was taken on a non-stop thrill ride of emotions. He laughed, cried, and cringed as he relived the incredible highs and devastating lows of WCW. Minutes turned to hours and he still could not put the book down. Early morning light crept through his hotel window and on to his now-empty pizza box.

Bischoff, tired and full, finished the last page of The Death Of WCW and sighed. He reflected not only on the events of the past few days, but over the last few decades. Staring into the mirror, Bischoff thought long and hard about who or what actually killed WCW.

“Was it me?” he thought, “Hogan? Bill Busch? Standards and Practices?”

He then flashed his pearly whites, let out a small chuckle, and said, “Nah. I was great. Handsome, too! It was that stupid AOL-Time Warner merger. It’s always the merger. Oh, and Russo. Definitely Russo.”

Bischoff then grabbed the book and shot it across the room into a trash can, three-point style.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
4 Responses to "Headlies: Eric Bischoff Finally Reads “The Death Of WCW”"
  1. Thomas says:

    I had to give the photo a second look before I even noticed the book cover.

  2. RD Reynolds says:

    Brilliant as always. Will tell the whole story of this fiasco on WrestleCrap Radio this week…

  3. John C says:

    First of congratulations to the whole gang for being near the top for the most entertaining acts of the weekend. I just read “The Death of WCW” recently in anticipation for watching the panel on Fite and wondered how Easy E came up the notion that you guys had just buried him for the company’s collapse. Good job with hitting him over the fact he obviously hadn’t read the book. He was most likely relying on those pesky stooges that told him it was a Bischoff hit piece. The book was pretty complementary towards his accomplishments of turning around a dying brand on life support and criticizing him over his failures at righting the ship. Listening to him continue to pass the buck off to everyone else for their going under is not what makes a leader, his absences voluntary or involuntary from the company during this era speaks to me of not a real strong person. The captain is supposed to go down with the ship but Eric not only jumped ship but took all the lift rafts for himself as well. Again you guys hit it big with the Wrestlecrap panel as well and were the showstealers.

  4. John Q Occupier says:

    Is this before or after he choppy-choppied your pee-pee?

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