Headlies: Elimination Chamber Converted Into School Playground

5 Submitted by on Mon, 13 February 2017, 08:00

Mesa, AZ – Following the events of last night’s events, WWE has decided to donate and convert the elimination chamber into a playground for needy children.

WWE’s ring crew quickly broke down the Elimination Chamber and loaded it piece by piece into their trucks, making the short drive from Phoenix to Mesa to deliver it.

“Eh, we barely use the thing,” said WWE CEO Vince McMahon. “Heck, it spends most of the year just sitting in the WWE warehouse next to all the other useless junk like the Doomsday cage, Undertaker’s coffins, and The Shining Stars. Might as well go to some kids who will have fun with it. Plus, we can use this playground as sort of a pre-Performance Center training facility.”

West Mesa Elementary School principal Dana Ramos was delighted with the donation. “I’d just like to thank Mr. McMahon and the entire WWE crew for making this possible. They did everything so fast and managed to get all the blood and spit and gross Bray Wyatt dreadlocks out of it. The kids already love it.”

“Look at me, I’m The Miz!” shouted second-grader Tucker Kelly from inside the cage.

“I’m an unbreakable pod door!” yelled fourth-grader Diedre Marks while lying on the ground.

“I’m Jack Swagger,” said second year sixth grader Bronson Carmichael quietly while sitting by himself outside of the chamber.

“This will really promote exercise and imagination,” said Principal Ramos. “If all goes well, we hope to add the Punjabi Prison by next spring.”

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
5 Responses to "Headlies: Elimination Chamber Converted Into School Playground"
  1. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    This would be so awesome! This needs to happen! 🙂

  2. CF says:

    And now I am picturing “WWE _Battle Royale_”….

  3. Another Dave says:

    Legit LOL’d at “I’m Jack Swagger”.

  4. Geoff says:

    Said by a 2nd year 6th grader. See you can’t be Jack Swagger in your first year and you can’t be Undertaker in your second year as 6th grader but you can be Jack Swagger. You don’t get to nbe Undertaker until your 4th year 7 grade.

  5. John C says:

    I’d take the Chamber of Horrors with The Chair of Torture, but that shouldn’t be a shock to anyone.

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