Headlies: Dixie Carter Forgets To Watch Bound For Glory

7 Submitted by on Fri, 17 October 2014, 08:00


Dallas, TX – TNA President Dixie Carter spent her entire Sunday with a nagging feeling that she was missing something. Unbeknownst to her, Carter had forgotten to watch or DVR Bound For Glory, her promotions biggest pay-per-view event of the year.

The event, typically referred to at TNA’s Wrestlemania or the company’s Super Bowl, took place at the Korakuen Hall in Tokyo, Japan. The event was the first to not feature either the NWA World Heavyweight title or the TNA World title and featured many wrestlers from Japan’s Wrestle-1 promotion.

Carter went about her day blissfully unaware that her company’s biggest event had already taken place and was available for purchase. After spending most of her morning circling multiple items in a SkyMall catalog, Dixie surfed the web from her iPad. Despite Bound For Glory taking place, there were no mentions of it on Twitter, so Carter remained in the dark.

“These lazy Sundays are so boring,” Carter thought to herself as she lost another round of Snood.

Carter spent the rest of her night organizing her refrigerator by alphabetical order. “Coconut water?” she asked herself. “Should that go to the front of the fridge because it starts with a ‘C’ or the back because it’s water?” Rather than making a decision, Carter poured the coconut water down the drain just to be safe.

As Carter laid down on her king-size mattress her drift into sleep was interrupted when she finally remembered what she had forgotten.

“Crap on a tuna fish sandwich!” exclaimed Carter. “Dang it all to H-E-double-giant-red-X’s-suspended-above-a-six-sided-ring! I knew I forgot something! Oh, Ditzy, you really goofed this time! I forgot to tell Serge to pick up those butterscotch pudding cups I like! Ugh, this is the worst day ever!” said Dixie as she flung her head back on her pillow, joining the thousands of TNA fans who did not watch Bound For Glory.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
7 Responses to "Headlies: Dixie Carter Forgets To Watch Bound For Glory"
  1. Sir Cheese says:

    Snood! I hadn’t thought about that game in over 10 years! Heh!

  2. the14thListener says:

    Alas, TNA, so close at times to being an interesting alternative to WWE. At least Impact has generally been a better show than Raw these last few weeks. Too bad it probably won’t last.

  3. Thomas says:

    There’s something strangely sweet about the fact that calls herself Ditzy in the third person.

  4. Adam Clark says:

    “Rather than making a decision, Carter poured the coconut water down the drain just to be safe.”

    Great line!

  5. kmtown says:

    Probably thought it was a fetish PPV.

  6. Alexandru says:

    Don’t worry Dixie I think everyone “forgot” to watch this ppv. I mean who would want to see a ppv without the world champ (oh wait) or at least top guys like Roode/Aries on it

  7. Does Serge work midnights or something? I guess that’s the time AJ snuck into the Carter residence.

leave a comment