0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 13:14

Text by Justin Henry; Photoshoppery by RD Reynolds
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By RD Reynolds

Seattle, WA – The Seahawks defeated the Packers on Monday Night Football, 14-12, but the game will be remembered for its controversial ending in which replacement referee Danny Davis awarded a touchdown on a last-ditch pass play on the game’s final play. It appeared Packers defensive back M.D. Jennings intercepted the ball, which was signaled as such by secondary official Dave Hebner, but instead the final ruling was in favor of Seahawks receiver Golden Tate making a touchdown catch.

The drama that took place on Monday night was just the latest in a series of blunders by the NFL’s replacement referees, who were taking over duties while the normal officials had been on strike. League commissioner Roger Goodell had handpicked the crew when it became apparent that the strike would not end before the beginning of the regular season.

“Contrary to popular belief, we didn’t just pull guys from their jobs teaching eighth-grade science or downing beers at Saints tailgating parties,” said Goodell. “We specifically looked for men with a background overseeing other sporting events. In particular, we were deluged with resumes of former referees from the World Wrestling Federation. I figured if anyone would know what it would take to keep giant muscular men in line, it would be these men.”

Instead what Goodell got were individuals far less trustworthy and jacked than Ed Hochuli.

“I was so happy when Goodell called me,” stated Dave Hebner. “I hadn’t had steady employment since Earl convinced me to help him steal the WWF title from Hulk Hogan back in 1988. Earl told me he would share the money that Ted DiBiase and Andre the Giant gave him, but I never saw one red cent. And now Earl is fornicating with Madison Rayne in TNA. I thought this was going to be my lucky break, but then Danny Davis made that stupid call and it all went to hell. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.”

When asked for comment the following day, Davis had this to say: “To all those people who think I owe them an apology for the way I officiate, well I’m sorry. Even though I don’t mean it.”

Following the blown call, Goodell had determined that enough was enough, and caved into the demands of his former officiating crew. They are due back starting Thursday night in Baltimore as the Browns face the Ravens.

“We had to restore the integrity to the game,” said Goodell in a press conference on Wednesday. “I know we have it right this time.”

Goodell went onto announce that a new crew will replace the previously announced team, which was set to have Tommy Young as the head referee, with Dick Kroll, Bill Alfonzo, Bronko Lubich, Nick Patrick, Tim White, and Gilberto Roman as his secondary officials.

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