Headlies: Chris Jericho Refuses To Put A Shirt On

7 Submitted by on Mon, 22 February 2016, 08:00


New York, NY – Going against several warnings from various members of the medical community, WWE Superstar Chris Jericho continues to not wear a shirt in public.

Over the past few weeks, Jericho has been appearing on RAW and Smackdown in his trademark jacket, but without a shirt on underneath it.

“I warned him about the dangerous of prolonged skin exposure to low temperatures, but he just wouldn’t listen,” said Dr. Omar Vargas. “I said ‘Chris, you are at an incredibly high risk for getting frostbite on your nipples.’ He just smiled at me and belted out a few lines of the Saxon song ‘Princess Of The Night’.”

Others have also taken notice of Jericho’s top-challenged behavior.

“Yeah, I guess it was a little strange that he wasn’t wearing a shirt during our appearance on his podcast,” said New Day member Kofi Kingston.  “We see worse in the locker room anyway. Far worse,” said Kingston with a shudder. “At least he sometimes puts a vest on.”

“Things got really sour when Jericho decided to feel the power…by which I mean rub baby oil all over his chest,” said Big E. “It’s a podcast! No one was even seeing him do this. Total 100% pure booty.”

“He’s just trying to get into my head and intimidate me,” said Jericho’s new rival, AJ Styles. “Well, let me tell you something, Jericho. You can’t intimidate someone who was in Vince Russo’s S.E.X. stable!”

Despite temperatures in much of the country dipping to dangerous levels this past weekend, Jericho was seen walking outside in nothing but an open jacket and a pair of tight jeans.

“The Ayat-t-tollah of r-r-r-rock and rolla doesn’t think he has a p-p-problem,” shivered Jericho. “A s-s-s-sexy beast doesn’t n-n-need a shirt! Oh, n-n-n-o! I think there’s f-frost in my belly b-b-button.”

Jericho was rushed to Beth Israel Hospital and, after briefly struggling with nurses and orderlies, was placed in several t-shirts and a restraining Snuggie.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
7 Responses to "Headlies: Chris Jericho Refuses To Put A Shirt On"
  1. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Another awesome one, Jordan! Very funny! 🙂

  2. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Is it possible to make a Headlies submission???

  3. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    Nice work, Jordan! I’d love to see a similar one involving Randy Orton’s refusal to wear pants…

  4. TK says:

    Hey Jericho’s both Canadian and his dad was Ted Irvine a hockey player for the NY Rangers. We need no stinking Shirts in the Winter! Absolute kudos on this entry to fit a note on the Russo S.E.X. group-I would have thought of the time Ric Flair wanted him as the next Nature Boy but that faction takes the cake even over Emo AJ late in his TNA run! Oh and thanks for the Saxon song note-looked it up to hear with this read. If you now get some Mean Street Posse Headlies entry with Shane-O-Mac back and maybe needing them again against the Undertaker, then you’re golden!

  5. Geoff says:

    That sounds like the beginning of good joke (or a bad one depending on your POV). “So a shirtless CHris Jerico and a pantless Randy Orton walk into a bar. The bartender, a naked blonde, looks up at them and says “I’m sorry, you’ll have to leave, no shirt, no pants, no service.” Chris looks at Randy, Randy looks at Chris and before either of them beat the blond into submission, Chris says to Randy “You think this was the beginning of a bad joke.”

    Drum roll, cymbal clap. Yep, I’m here till Thurs.

  6. Doc 902714 says:

    This headlie reminds me of when he was on the Price is RAW when Bob Barker guest-hosted RAW. I’m sure Bob in all of his 40 years of hosting never saw a contestant with his name tag stuck to his bare chest (?). Hilarious bit!!

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