Headlies: Cheatum To Be In Triple H’s Corner At Wrestlemania

3 Submitted by on Mon, 23 March 2015, 08:00


Los Angeles, CA – On tonight’s edition of Monday Night Raw, Triple H will reveal that Cheatum, the evil midget pirate, will be in his corner when he takes on Sting at Wrestlemania.

“I needed to go back to Sting’s past,” said Triple H. Really find out his weaknesses. Who better than Cheatum, who I might add, has never been defeated by Sting. Take that, Lex Luger! Sting can keep his little sissy bat. I’m a Cheatum guy…hmmm that sounds like a good shirt slogan,” said Triple H, lost in thought.

Cheatum, best known for appearing in several WCW mini-movies in the early 90’s, has been training Triple H over the past several weeks to prepare him for his match. He has even taken time off from his job as Adjunct Professor of Economics at Post University.

“Hehe work on cardio work on cardio!” said Cheatum. “Lots of protein! Low carbs hehe! Sledgehammer! Stephanie distraction! Roll-up 1-2-3 hehehehehe!”

In order to raise the stakes, WWE officials are considering making the confrontation a “Spin The Wheel, Make The Deal” match. Interns are currently searching for coal miner’s gloves.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
3 Responses to "Headlies: Cheatum To Be In Triple H’s Corner At Wrestlemania"
  1. John C says:

    Sting after hearing of this turn of events has refused all requests to stand near any boats. Also he has stopped watching The Price is Right since The Showcase Showdown has caused him several panic attacks in the past and he has a parental block on his tv when Wheel of Fortune airs.

  2. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Oh, if only this was true! Great job, Jordan!

  3. The Doctor of Style says:

    So that picture is where the WWF got the idea for Jean-Pierre LaFitte…

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